Auggie and how it all began
by Mariposa68
Summary: This is my first Fanfiction story in English. I am not an English native speaker so please be patient. Auggie has just lost his sight and is trying to adapt to a life in darkness. The story deals with his struggle against his disability and shows how he came to terms with his new condition .There is also a mission during which Annie gets deeper insight into Auggie s life.
1. Chapter 1

My Auggie Story part 1

„I don´t want this damned thing, you may keep it for yourself" And at the same moment the folded cane flew across the room and landed with a loud bang right at the door. Trembling with rage and with a red face and fists so clenched that the knuckles turned white, Auggie stood in the middle of the room. Once again an enormous rage had come over him. The anger about his situation, about a life in darkness and an anger directed at the therapists who forced him to do silly and impossible things had caused this outburst.

Sarah, the therapist had quietly watched Auggie´s outburst of rage and she said " If you are fed up and done with running against walls and when the bruises on your arms and legs increase because you are running against chairs, tables etc. then you might let me know" With these words she left Auggie´s room. Auggie heard her retreating footfalls and the sound of the closing door. Heavily breathing and still trembling with emotion he slowly made his way across the room and with his right hand slightly extended he found the bed. He sat down and moments later he was sound asleep. The lack of light sensation made him tired and more sleepy than ever before. Especially when he was alone and had no distraction. And most of the time he was alone. And distraction was a special issue these days. What could he do? He could not read, he could not solve his Sudokus, he couldn´t watch TV and he could not go for a walk. All these activities required eyes, functional working eyes that would not let him down. One day seemed to blend into another here and so he did not realize the therapist that entered his room to take him to the dining room for lunch. A few hours later he woke up. He opened his eyes and saw the familiar grey nothingness. What time was it anyway? He had no idea. He had no light perception whatsoever and that made him disoriented. He slowly got up and with tentative steps he entered the adjacent bathroom in order to refresh himself with some cold water. He had just dried his face with a towel, when he heard a knock on his door. Roger the therapist called him "Mr. Anderson, it is time for dinner" and before Auggie could reply he left the room. Auggie sat down on his bed, waiting for someone to come back and to take him to the dining room. Time went by and nobody came. His rumbling stomach reminded him that he had already skipped lunch. Had they forgotten about him? Were they determined to let him starve because of his outburst of rage and his refusal when it came to therapy? These and similar thoughts kept bugging him. Okay, he was a soldier, he had gone through a lot more in his life and he would not give up. But he would also show everyone how he felt about their strategies to make him comply.

The following morning was like the day before. Auggie stood in the bathroom and felt for his razor on the shelf above the sink when he heard a knock on the door. "Breakfast will be served in half an hour Mr. Anderson" . That was the voice of Sarah, the therapist. Auggie stopped his shaving procedure when Sarah peeked into the bathroom. With an ironic and slightly annoyed undertone Auggie asked "How could you forget about me yesterday evening. I waited for someone to take me to the dining room but nobody came". "Well, that is part of your therapy" Sarah replied. "Did nobody tell you that you are supposed to walk alone to the dining room from now on?"

"Pardon me?" the razor almost fell to the ground when Auggie heard that. " How shall I be able to find the dining room?" "That is quite simple, you just have to use your white cane" was the answer to his question. "We have explained to you how to get there and now it is all up to you. If You want to be independent, you should immediately start to learn how." With these words she turned on her heels and left the room.

This was incredible! Auggie could not believe what he had just heard. He would not use this damned cane and he would not give them the satisfaction to see him vulnerable. All these therapies were a waste of time. In a couple of weeks or months he would regain his eyesight. So why should he waste his time with stupid things like Braille or orientation and mobility training? All these things were made for blind cripples who were unable to live their lives. He did not belong to this category that was clear. All right, at the moment he could not see, but that did not necessarily mean that he was blind. BLIND! What a terrible word, a word that he always associated with dependence, darkness and a dreadful life. This word did not match his current state. Very soon he would see again and he would resume his old life as a soldier and CIA operative. Captain August Anderson would not become a helpless and blind cripple that was crystal clear! After he was done in the bathroom he slowly went over to the closet. Three steps across the room, a little to the left and he opened the door. He felt for the black jeans and the white shirt that his mother had brought when she visited him. In the privacy of his room he felt comfortable and protected but whenever he left the room a feeling of fear and panic washed over him. Feelings that he would not have allowed to surface if he was still a soldier. He had accomplished the most difficult missions and he had led and guided his fellow soldiers in the most dangerous parts of the world and now he had problems to find a dining room. That was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous! But he did not want to give up and so he walked along the corridor whilst trailing his right hand across the wall. After a few metres he stopped. Was the dining room behind the 3rd or the 4th door ? He was not sure. He slowly kept on walking and soon found the first door. Great, this was the right direction. A little later he found the 2nd and the 3rd door and a little before he reached the 4th door he smelled coffee. Great, he had arrived! With cautious steps he entered the room made a few steps to the right and collided with a tea-cart full of napkins, cups, plates and cutlery. "Ouch, dammit" he said. Sarah the therapist had heard him swear and greeted him friendly "Good Morning Mr. Anderson, it is nice of you to keep us company" And with these words she offered him her arm and led him to a table. "Scrambled eggs at 12, Toast at 3 and coffee at your 10 ´o clock" she informed him when she arrived with Auggie´s plate. Only now Auggie realized how hungry he was and although the scrambled eggs fell off his fork a couple of times, he quickly finished his meal. Especially the dose of caffeine in the morning improved his mood. A day without coffee was unthinkable for him. He usually needed large quantities of this beverage. Although he was very hungry he felt very uncomfortable. He felt that he was being watched and that disturbed him. The others could see him but he could not see them. This was really annoying to him and he could not get used to that feeling.

Auggie was proud, he had found the way back to his room without problems. What a ridiculous idea to use a cane! Nobody could force him to use that thing. He would not make a fool of himself by running around with that stupid thing in his hand. He could almost sense the looks of pity. NO! He would never be like that! And even if all the therapists in the whole wide world would conspire against him, he would NEVER use a white cane. And in a couple of weeks his sight would return and nobody would talk about that topic again.

Regarding the way to the dining room the therapists had won the battle. Auggie regularly made his way alone to the dining room. But he still refused all of the other therapies. He could be really stubborn. For him it did not make any sense to learn Braille or to attend orientation and mobility training classes. That was all a waste of time for him. He just wanted to go home. Home? Where was this home? He had given up his apartment in DC when he went to Iraq and all of his furniture were still securely stored in a warehouse. He had to find a new place to live. But How? He could not read the offers in the local newspaper and his laptop in the closet was not accessible for him either. For internet research he also needed working eyes. His frustration grew with every day. Why the hell could nobody tell him how much longer he would have to stay in that institution? He would ask the doctor as soon as possible.

Two days after

Auggie lay on his bed staring at the ceiling when he heard steps and seconds later a knock on the door. "Come in" he called and Dr. James Morgan, the doctor in charge of the rehabilitation facility, entered the room. "You wanted to talk to me Mr. Anderson?" the doctor came right to the point. "Yes that´s right" In the meantime Auggie had got up and sat down on the edge of the bed. Although he knew where the doctor was standing he did not try to look into his direction. "How can I help you?" Dr. Morgan asked. He was tall, slim and had dark hair. The hair at this temples though was slightly turning grey and made him appear mature. Being in his mid 50s, he had already a lot of experience and was prepared for any sort of question. ." I want to know much longer I will have to stay here and when my sight will return" Auggie answered.

The doctor swallowed, ha had been prepared for everything but this question was unexpected. He had thought that Auggie had been sufficiently informed about his health status and his eyes. There was no way back for him, he had to give Auggie a precise answer to his question. "Mr Anderson your test results are very clear. Your retina is seriously damaged and that is irreversible in addition, the explosion destroyed the optic n nerve of your brain. To put it briefly, you will never see again.

This news hit Auggie like a hammer. Again he started trembling and screamed " You are wrong, I am not blind and I will not be blind" Those things usually happened to other people but not to Captain August Anderson. He was not a blind cripple and he would never become one. "Leave me alone" he shouted at the doctor…..right now….! Dr. Morgan who knew about the mood swings of his patients from experience left the room and closed the door behind him. Now there was no need for Auggie to contain himself anymore. With his fists he punched his pillow until it was soaked with his tears of frustration. What he had just heard had given him a shock. Up til now he had tried to avoid the thought of being blind forever. Had someone told him about that? He could not remember. Too many events right after his accident stayed in the dark so to speak because he could not remember anything. He had spent many days under the influence of strong narcotics and painkillers to alleviate the pain of his brain injury. In the dark, yes that was it. From now on he would live in eternal darkness and this thought made him anxious and he was scared. How should he be able to go on a mission, how should he help his fellow soldiers of the Special Forces Unit? He could not even leave the building without assistance and depended on the help of others. A life like that was not only unthinkable for him but it did not make any sense either. He did not expect much, he just wanted to feel free and independent. But how could he achieve that again? Pure despair was what he felt right now.

Auggie spent a sleepless night after the conversation with Dr. Morgan. During the few minutes that he slept he had nightmares. He was running through a dark maze alone, lost and utterly helpless. He heard voices of invisible people and the people he could see ,sneered and called him a helpless cripple. Sweating he woke up and asked himself what was worse. The nightmares directly after the explosion or those dreams of being a helpless blind man.

The next morning Auggie felt tired and exhausted. He had even less motivation to get up than before but despite that he dragged himself out of bed to wash away the sweat of that sleepless night with a refreshing shower. Completely tired he showed up in the dining room. He was now able to find the way without problems but anything beyond that was still unknown territory to him. Were the therapists right and should he give it a try and learn to use the cane? Deep inside he still rejected this idea. The imagination of blind people he had once seen out in the streets haunted him. They seemed to be helpless and lost and he did not want to be seen like that. However, the desire for more independence remained.

Two weeks later

"A little more to the right" Auggie listened to Sarah the therapist. He slowly moved his cane a little into the direction she had just indicated. Dammit, he still had problems to walk in a straight line. Whenever he started walking with his cane, he veered into another direction and collided with a wall, walked into a ditch or a curb. When he was still sighted he had not had any idea how difficult it could be to walk a few metres without sight. The priorities in his life had significantly and radically changed within a short time. Three months ago, his task was to accomplish and finish a tricky mission in a foreign country and now the daily challenge was to find the way to the dining room, the corner shop or to the next bus stop.


	2. Chapter 2

My Auggie Story 2

After a long fight against himself and against his pride, Auggie had decided to follow the advice of the therapists. This decision had not been an easy one for him. But he had no choice if he did not want to depend on the help of others for the rest of his life. In the last 3 weeks he had learned more than in the previous two months at the rehab facility. Auggie was stubborn. But this time being stubborn was an advantage. Whenever he had a plan, he was determined to accomplish it . His new goal was to become independent again. He wanted to live in his own flat because living in a facility for veterans and other people with handicaps was not an option for him. He wanted to be a useful member of the society and make his contribution.

Auggie had made a lot of progress when it came to walking with the white cane and his Braille skills had improved as well. His fintertips became more and more sensitive and he could already read short stories with them. Writing however, was still difficult for him. Especially writing with a Braille slate. This method involved a piece of paper that was inserted into the slate. The slate had to be flipped open to insert the paper and then it was closed again. Then the letters were poked into the paper with a Braille stylus. It was not the most difficult thing to write in a straight line, but to write in reverse order from the right to the left. This way of writing was slow and not really effortless but it was the only possibility to take handwritten notes. Writing with a typewriter was a lot quicker but it required to press 1, 2,3 or more keys at a time to write a letter or a number. Auggie sighed, when he sat once again in front of his typewriter to finish his Braille homework. With smart and quick movements he pressed the various keys and finished his text. At least he had made some progress. He wistfully thought of the time when he just had to sit down at his computer to write something down. Later on he would save the content and print it out. Nowadays, computers with Braille keyboards for the blind were available as well. He wanted soon to be able to use a computer again but this goal was still miles away. Working blind with a computer meant that he had to be perfect at reading and writing in Braille. He still needed some time to get there. The funny thing about all this was, that he felt like going back to his time in elementary school more than 20 years ago. It felt strange to start from scratch with reading and writing like a 6-year old. And all of that did not really match the picture that he had of himself and of his life. Therefore he often felt very unsatisfied and patience was not one of his virtues either. The progress he made was too slow, he thought. He wanted to go back to his old life as soon as possible although he knew that this was impossible. Many tasks that he used to execute easily were now impossible for him. Especially the question how he would find a new job kept bothering him and almost made him despair. He did not want to become a massage therapist or a switchboard operator. He did not want to work in a job that was typical for blind people. But a return to Langley appeared to be impossible, too.

When Auggie came back from one of his therapy lessons two days later, and was on his way to his room, he suddenly heard a voice behind him "Hello Auggie". He slowed down and finally stopped. The voice was familiar but he could not believe what he had just heard. And when he was almost ready to resume his way to his room a blond woman in her mid-fourties hurried towards him. "Auggie, finally I found you. I have been looking for you all over the facility". Now it dawned on him. He had been right, the voice belonged to Joan Campbell, his boss. Among all people that he knew she had been the least that he had expected here. "Joan?" Auggie´s eyes tried to make out the direction from where the voice had come. His look however, gave it away that he could not see the blond, slim woman before him. " Yes Auggie it ´s me. I wanted to know how you feel. I have been planning this visit for weeks but there was always something that kept me from coming to see you. "Well, I surely would not have expected you here" Auggie said with a faint smile. His hands rested on top of the cane and he was happy that someone from his past was interested in him . "Let ´s go to the cafeteria" he suggested "I have not had my fill of caffeine yet today and I could also use a little snack. Dinner is still far away". And with these words Auggie started walking and swept his cane in an arc before him to clear the way. With a confident stride he walked along the hallway and if he had not held that white cane in his hand, Joan would have forgotten that he could not see. When they reached the cafeteria Joan became a little more aware of Auggie´s handicap. Auggie had found the way to the cafeteria without problems but finding a free table was more difficult because the room was almost crowded. Therefore he asked Joan " Would you try to find a table for us?" " Of course" she hesitated and Auggie had to remind himself that Joan had no experience with blind people. "Okay," he said "touch the back of my hand with your right hand. So that I can find your arm. I will take your arm right above the elbow and you can lead me to the table. When we get there put my hand on the back of the chair. That makes it easier for me to sit down." "Okay, sounds quite easy" Joan said but the hesitation in her voice told Auggie that she was not really convinced of her capabilities as a guide. She cautiously touched the back of Auggie´s hand and he grabbed her arm above her elbow. This was a new and almost intimate feeling for both. They had a boss-employee relationship and apart from a handshake in the morning there was no need to touch each other. They finally reached the table and Joan put Auggie´s hand on the back of the chair. He folded his white cane and put it next to him on the table.

Over a cup of coffee and a cheese sandwich Joan filled Auggie in on the latest gossip from Langley. However, she avoided the most important topic, Auggie´s future at the CIA consciously. He had not changed. He was tall, had broad shoulders and wore blue jeans and a light-grey shirt that perfectly underlined his well-toned muscles. His brown hair slightly curled around his neck and his forehead but despite this familiar appearance something was different. His hazelnut-brown eyes stared blankly into space when he was talking to her. Most of the time he did not even tilt his head into her direction when he spoke. Although Joan knew that this behaviour was rather typical for many blind people, she still found it a bit strange. She started to feel pity for him. How should she explain to him that Langley did not have a job for him anymore? Who needed a blind CIA agent who could not go on a mission anymore? With a curious look Joan watched Auggie and was glad that he could not see that. At the same time she felt guilty for these thoughts. Although Auggie now matched a couple of blind stereotypes, one thing made him differ from the others. Compared to other people with visual disabilities, he did not wear dark sunglasses. This was not necessary at all because his brown eyes did not show any sign of disease or accident. He had no reason to hide them. But with or without sun glasses, Auggie was blind and Joan had fully realized that during her visit. Joan had never been in touch before with blind people and Auggie´s accident had shown her how quickly everything in your life could change. She was afraid of the conversation that dealt with Auggie´s future in Langley. Under the current circumstances nobody could assume that Auggie could return to Langley. Auggie took the last sip out of his coffee cup. The dose of caffeine had done him good. All these different therapies were strenuous and exhausting. What he hated most was working in the kitchen. As a sighted man he had already hated cooking but preparing a chicken without seeing, peeling potatoes or to bake a cake was not really his favourite task. But now, all these cooking lessons became a necessity if he wanted to avoid to burn himself with hot coffee or tea. With his right hand he slowly felt for the saucer and put the empty coffee cup back. "And what about my future?" he asked. Joan swallowed, and the last piece of her sandwich almost stuck in her throat when Auggie asked the question she had dreaded so much before.


	3. Chapter 3

My Auggie story part 3

With his eyes closed and his elbows resting on his knees Auggie sat by the window. The last rays of the evening sun warmed his face and he did not even realize it. He was immersed into a world of unpleasant thoughts. Joan had hesitated when he asked her about his future in Langley and then she had explained that it was impossible for him to come back. Auggie had started to get used to being disabled but there were still moments when he felt helpless, even furious. He had re-conquered a part of his old life and he had learned to execute daily tasks alone and without help but to be unable to work and to feel useless was a terrible shock and he felt humiliated. He had a university degree in computer science, he was a hacker that many people dreaded and he was a soldier. It was hard to beat him when it came to deciphering codes and encrypted messages. He had so many capabilities that were not useful anymore because he needed working eyes. This realization hit him like a hammer. Tears of anger and disappointment burned in his eyes but he did not want to let them flow, not this time. Instead he took his folded cane from the table, grabbed his jacket from the bed and made his way to the park. He now knew the directions by heart. There was still one hour until dinner and he decided to distract himself a bit by talking a walk and filling his lungs with fresh air. He slowly walked along the garden path. After 5 minutes, his cane found a bench. He felt for the seat with his extended right hand, took a seat and folded his cane neatly before he put it on the right side next to him. After a short while he heard a voice say "May I take a seat?" Auggie looked up and turned towards the voice he had just heard. "Yes" he said and then he heard that someone sat down next to him. The voice belonged to a woman that was clear but Auggie could not find out more details. "Are you often here" the female voice said. "Yes, sometimes" he answered. "I have just moved into this town" the woman continued and I am looking for a new job. You cannot imagine how difficult that is. " And while she gave him a detailed description of her unsuccessful job hunt, Auggie thought _who knows better than I do_.

"Do you know where I can find a supermarket? I have to do some shopping." "Yes" Auggie had learned a lot about this district of town during his orientation and mobility training and gave the woman detailed directions. "You follow the road up until the crossroads with the traffic light, you turn right and after about 300 m you will find the shopping centre on the left." "Thank you, I am always a little helpless in a new environment" The young lady smiled and wondered why Auggie did not look into her eyes. However, she saw the amused smile that played around Auggie´s mouth and wondered even more. Then Auggie took his folded cane, unfurled it with a quick movement and said " I wish you a nice day" The young lady stared at Auggie, then at the white cane in his hand and then stammered...I...I...did not...did not...realize that ...you..you are..., you have just described the way so perfectly ...!Now Auggie understood as well. You did not realize that I am blind? You made my day, you don´t know how much that means to me" And sweeping his cane in front of him and with a smile on his face he made his way back to the building . The conversation with Joan had hurt him but the chat with the young lady had given him a bit of confidence. There were still people that did not realize his handicap at first sight. That meant that his eyes looked normal and that he was not disfigured as he secretly feared sometimes.

Dinner was as usual and Auggie decided to practice a little Braille after his meal. He wanted to make progress as soon as possible and he wanted to be able to work again. Two days later he found himself sitting at a computer desk for the first time in months. Michael, the instructor was also blind and explained to him how to use a Braille keyboard. Auggie followed his explanations by sliding his fingers across the different keys of the Braille keyboard. There was one line for Braille where the entire content of the screen was displayed in Braille dots and there were some arrow keys that permitted to navigate up, down and to the side. Normally this was not a difficult thing, but a blind person needed a lot of practice to get along with a computer. Later Michael explained the speech programme. Apart from the Braille line there was a programme that converted the screen content into speech. E-Mails and screen content were read to the blind user. But this also required some experience and a number of key shortcuts and combinations. Now Auggie was glad that he had already learned touch-typing when he was still sighted. At least typing blind was not a problem for him. By the end of the day he had the first feeling of success. He had read an e-mail and he had answered it and he had read some info on the internet. If progress was that fast, maybe there was still a possibility for him to get back to work. Slowly he started to feel hopeful and confident again. He was moving on and forward!

Two months later

Auggie´s time at the rehab facility was almost over. The following week he would leave the centre and move into his own apartment. His therapist Sarah had helped him to make his home "blindproof". There was a stove with tactile dots for the temperature selection, a talking scale in bathroom and kitchen, a talking alarm clock in the bedroom, Braille tags on CDs and records and a number of other details. For the selection of furniture Auggie had also taken some advice. The heavy couch table was replaced by round tables on each side of his couch. That way he minimized the risk to hurt himself when he was distracted. He had almost spent six months at the rehab centre and the time had passed so quickly. There had been so much that he had to learn and to re-learn and still there were things that made him doubt that he could execute them as easily as he did it before. Nevertheless he had an important date today. For this occasion he had chosen a dark-grey suit and a white shirt with a red tie. Sarah the therapist had helped him with the choice of his clothes and whistled when he stood in front of her all dressed up. "Wow, you look impressive" she said. "Do you think so" Auggie was a little unsure and above all he was nervous. He took his folding cane from the bed and walked directly to the door. If someone saw him he would not assume that he could not see anymore. Outside the centre Auggie heard the honking horn of the car service that he had ordered. He followed the sound of the honking horn, found the door with his cane and moved onto the back seat of the car. After about 20 minutes he arrived at his destination. He took a deep breath, paid the driver, opened his cane again and with a confident stride he walked to the entrance of the building. He had not been in Langley since his accident and he felt strange when he entered the "holy halls" of the CIA again. This was a place he had left when he was still sighted. Coming back blind was a strange experience. When walking to the elevator he almost missed the elevator door. The next time he would have to count his steps more carefully. Counting steps, yes that was an important part of his life now. He realized how important this and a good concentration were ,whenever he was distracted and ran against furniture or even walls. "Can I help you Sir" someone next to him asked when he had almost missed the elevator door. "Yes, I am looking for the elevator" "May I help you?" "With pleasure" Auggie replied. He had learned to accept help when he was alone and a bit unsure. The young lady took his arm and led him to the door. "Thanks a lot" Auggie smiled and heard the elevator stop and the opening of the door. In the elevator he counted the buttons until the 3rd floor. And a bit later the elevator started to move again. Arriving on the 3rd floor Auggie got out of the elevator. Joans office door was right next to the elevator, so there was no problem for him to find it. My God, he was so nervous, as nervous as a little boy on his first day at elementary school. But what he wanted to tell Joan was important and he hoped that she would really listen to him. He knocked and heard " come in". Then he opened the office door and walked directly to the desk where Joan, his boss sat. "Auggie"! Joan was surprised about Auggie´s visit but above all about how easily he had found his way across the room with his cane. "Joan, I have to talk to you" Auggie came directly to the point. " I know exactly what you said when you visited me two months ago but since then lots of things have changed. I have become more independent and I can work with the computer again when I have adequate equipment at my disposal. Joan, with all my knowledge and experience I could provide back up for other agents. I could work in the background. Going into the field again is out of question and I know that….. but Joan….I could execute a lot of office tasks I just need a chance to prove that to you and the others. Please give it a try! Quietly and with surprise, Joan had listened to Auggie´s monologue. She was surprised and did not know what to say. But when she saw him in his elegant suit he looked like before. Only his unfocused gaze gave away his handicap. Auggie was fit and healthy. During her last visit he was still exhausted and pale. But now….Joan liked Auggie and they had something akin to a mother-son relationship although she was only 5 years older.

"Auggie, you know how much I like you but you also know, that I cannot decide this alone. What you are telling me sounds plausible and I would be prepared to give it a try. But I have to talk to Arthur first. We will discuss this and I will let you know the result.

And with these words Joan stood and Auggie heard her walk around her desk. What happened next took Auggie by surprise. Joan hugged him and placed a little kiss on his right cheek and said "I am so glad that you are fine again". Such an outburst of emotions was not typical for Joan. She usually tended to be cool and always in control of herself. Therefore Auggie felt a bit overwhelmed.

After a long conversation with Arthur in the evening after work, it was clear. Auggie would return to the DPD again. In a month everything would be set up for his return. His office would be equipped with adaptive technology for the blind by then and he could prove himself as an agent again. In the evening when Joan called Auggie on his cell phone, he could not believe it. He finally had a job and his life made sense again.


	4. Chapter 4

Mv Auggie story part 4

The technicians had been busy and had installed the adaptive technology. The computer with speech control was installed, a document reader was available on the desk and the phone keys had Braille marks. Even the Braille keyboard was installed and connected with the computer. Joan had selected the desk for Auggie .With a little advice of the rehabilitation centre staff, the choice had been easier for her. She had chosen a round desk made of glass in order to avoid unnecessary injuries by edges and corners. The cables and wires were perfectly hidden, so that a sightless person would not trip over them.

Joan walked around the now perfectly equipped office. She was glad that Auggie would come back soon. However, she was still a little unsure and skeptical regarding Auggie´s capabilities in his "new condition". She still could not believe that a blind person, even if they had enjoyed a perfect education, could be as capable and efficient as anybody else. She had to give it some time. She and Auggie had to get used to the new situation. Like most of the office rooms Auggie´s office had huge windows with a view of the lawns and the park close-by. Taking in the view, Joan felt a little sad. She knew that Auggie would never enjoy that view. He had seemed to be so vulnerable when she had visited him a the rehab facility.

Auggie was nervous and fumbled with his tie. He stood out of pure habit in front of the bathroom mirror and prepared himself for the day ahead. How many times had he adjusted a tie? But this time everything was different. For the first time in his life he had to make a tie knot without seeing. Since his accident he had not worn ties and before the visit in Joan´s office, someone at the facility had helped him with the procedure. With the help of the Braille tags on his clothes he had chosen the shirt he wanted to wear. It was light-blue and had dark blue stripes. The dark-blue tie and the blue Jeans matched and made his outfit perfect. At first sight Auggie looked as he always did. People who had not seen him for a while, would not guess what he had gone through in the last 8 months. Only his unfocused gaze when he talked to someone gave away his handicap. Finally Auggie had finished the tie knot. With a few brush strokes he combed his wavy hair and went back to the bedroom to grab the jacket from the bed and went straight away into the kitchen. A last sip from the coffee cup on the kitchen counter and it was time to leave. Outside, he already heard the honking horn of the taxi he had called. He took his cane from the dresser next to the door and left. "Good morning Mr. Anderson" greeted the driver and Auggie walked towards the sound of the voice he had just heard. Without any problem he found the car door with his cane and settled into the back seat. During the drive, Auggie got more and more nervous. He had spent so many years in Langley but this was absolutely new ground for him. Coming back blind to his office was a true challenge for him. He started to feel unsure. A feeling , that he had not known before. Would he be able to deal with the daily demands of his job although he could not see anymore? How would old and new colleagues react to a blind person? Auggie hated nothing more than pity and the feeling of dependence. And then, there was his damned pride. At the rehab facility they had taught him to put his pride aside and to accept help if it was necessary. The life of a blind person could sometimes be strenuous. Everything required more time than before and even with special training, some things did not work without help. This feeling of dependence still bothered him and he still avoided to use the term "blind" when he talked about himself. He could not see anymore but he had not really and entirely accepted his condition. He preferred to say "I cannot see". This way to describe his condition, made him feel better and gave him some hope that his sight was not gone forever.

Arriving in Langley the taxi stopped right in front of the entrance. Auggie had the layout of the building pat down but despite that, he felt a bit insecure. He paid the driver, unfolded his cane again and walked to the door. His cane was now a steady companion and his "best friend" as they had taught him in rehab. But very often he hated the cane even if he knew, that he could not do without it. The idea to use the cane at work did not really please him. He did not want to be the centre of attention He wanted that everybody looked at him as they did before. But above all, he wanted them to see him as capable and efficiently working person. He needed to prove that. He could not go to the field anymore but his knowledge and his strategies when planning a mission could be of enormous value for the others. After 5 minutes he reached Joan´s office. He knocked and when he heard "come in" he entered the room. "Auggie" Joan stood from her desk and shook his hand. " I am so glad to see you again" Auggie smiled and turned his head into Joan´s direction. " I am happy, too to be back again" he said. "Okay, let´s go into your new office" Joan touched Auggie´s arm as he had taught her and he took her elbow and let her guide him. In his new office Auggie started to get acquainted with the room layout. He counted the steps from the desk to the door, from the desk to the window, from the window to the shelf etc. After 20 minutes he had a picture of his new office and took a seat on his desk chair. His first job was to guide a new female agent through her first mission. Via phone he would give her instructions and tips. It was the first important job for him and he hoped, that he would meet all the expectations and demands. On his desk he found all necessary information printed out in Braille and he immediately started to read the files with his fingertips. After about 30 minutes he had developed a strategy how he could help the new agent. Now he waited impatiently for her arrival. He was curious whether he would manage two challenges on one day at a time.


	5. Chapter 5

My Auggie Story part 5

A short time later he heard someone knocking on his office door and heard a female voice say „Annie Walker, I am supposed to contact you"

Tack, Tack, Tack….Auggie heard footsteps walking towards his desk. As soon as he noticed that Annie was standing next to him, he caught the scent of perfume. He extended his hand and said "August Anderson, nice to meet you" and he smiled into Annie´s direction. Annie took his hand and reciprocated with a firm handshake. "Joan Campbell told me that you will give me instructions and that you will be my handler when I am out on a mission." "Yes, that is the plan" Auggie said. "From now on we will be a team and I hope that we will work together perfectly". " I hope that too" Annie smiled whilst Auggie turned his office chair around to reach for his Braille keyboard, put on his headphones and typed in a number of words. Then he checked everything and slid with his fingers across the Braille keyboard. Only then Annie realized that something was different. When Auggie had talked to her ,he had turned his face into her direction and because she had concentrated on the subject of the conversation and on the details that Auggie had given her, she had not seen the unfocused gaze in his eyes. But now, that he was sitting at his computer and did not look at the screen, she felt like she had been struck by lightning. _This good looking man in front of her was blind! _At first sight his hazelnut-brown eyes did not give away anything. And that confused her. She had seen other blind people but their eyes had been different. The visual handicap had been clearly visible. Auggie however was different. His posture, his well toned muscles …all of that did not match the appearance of a blind man.

Auggie continued typing on his keyboard and a few moments later he had found the information. He turned towards Annie and said " I have a record with all the necessary information for our next project. Please go over to the printer and take out the printed sheets." And then he indicated with his right hand the direction where the printer was. Annie took a few steps into the direction of the printer and took out four A-4 pages whilst taking a first look at the content. She would need more time to get all the details.

"I am blind as you might have noticed" Auggie continued the conversation. I will not be your partner on a mission. Instead I will be connected with you by mobile phone or radio contact. I am your contact should something go wrong during a mission. Maybe you ask yourself how someone who cannot see can be your support. You just have to know. I have not always been blind and in the course of time I have become an experienced agent in the field. I am hoping for a good co-operation." During the next 30 minutes Annie and Auggie spoke about the details of the new mission and by the end of the conversation Annie was convinced that Auggie was the right partner for her despite his handicap. During their conversation he had given her so much self confidence that she trusted him.

1 day later

After her first day at the CIA Annie had not slept well. Although she felt that Auggie was the right handler for her she was still a bit insecure. She had just come off the farm and was a newbee. What if the first mission went wrong? She got up, went into the bathroom and after a refreshing shower and a cup of strong coffee she got into her little red VW and drove to Langley. Auggie was already waiting for her in his office. Just like the day before he sat at his desk and had his head phones on whilst sliding his hands across the Braille keyboard. When Annie entered the room he let his head-phones slide to his neck and smiled "Good morning Annie Walker" "Good morning Mr Anderson" was the answer."How did you know it was me. I have not said a single word?" "No, but the scent of your perfume gave you away. It smells like grapefruit and lemon. When you cannot see you focus on other things. And by the way. If we want to be a good team, we should stop calling us Ms. Walker and Mr Anderson. I suggest we call us by our first names" Auggie said. "My friends and colleagues call me Auggie."

And in addition….

Annie I want you to know …I cannot see, but usually I do not need a lot of help when I am in a familiar place. Should I need assistance I will let you know.

Three hours later

"Annie where are you?" sounded a voice through Annie´s headphones. " I can see my contact, he is sitting on a bench on the opposite side and he is wearing a green coat, as we had agreed on. "Okay Annie, we have talked that through before. You take a seat next to him and you open your newspaper. Then he will get up and leave his newspaper on the bench. Inside the newspaper you will find the file that we need. Take the newspaper and walk into the opposite direction. Take care that nobody is following you". "Okay" Annie slowed down and reached the bench. She opened the latest edition of The Times and pretended to be reading. A little later the man next to her left the newspaper on the bench. Annie waited until he was out of sight, took the newspaper and started to walk. She did not get far. After about 50m she was attacked by a man that had been hiding behind a bush. He tried to get hold of her newspaper. Annie made a quick movement and hit the man that was attacking her from behind with her elbow right into the stomach, then she kicked him into the lower parts of his body until he fell to his knees and set off running. Auggie had heard the sound of a fight through his headphones and called with concern in his voice "Annie….Annie…is everything alright"? "Yes," came the answer from the other side of the line. "I was just attacked by an unknown person. I could defend myself and everything is okay" "Thank God" Auggie sighed. What if the first mission had gone wrong?

Two hours later Annie had just made her debrief in Joan´s office and had presented the file. She was glad that the first day had gone well and she longed for a bit of peace and quiet. She walked into the direction of Auggie´s office and saw him still sitting at his desk where he was just shutting down his computer.

"Hey Auggie, are you in for a beer and a snack? My stomach is rumbling and I have not eaten since breakfast" Auggie had shut down his computer and opened now the right drawer of his desk to grab his white folding cane. "Excellent idea, I am in. My stomach is rumbling too. What about a Pizza at the small Pizzeria two streets away from here? I know the owner and the Pizza there is just fabulous."

"Done" Annie said. Auggie now walked around his desk and whilst doing that, he had let his right hand trail along the edge of the desk. When he finally stood right next to Annie he asked: "Would you mind if I took your arm? I would not have to use my cane then?" "No problem, if you tell me what I have to do" "Okay, touch with your right hand the back of my hand to let me know where to find your arm. Then I take your arm right above the elbow. Walk half a step ahead of me. This way I can anticipate the direction or even steps. "Got that" Annie had listened carefully and touched the back of Auggie´s hand. He took her arm and they left the building. Annie was a quick learner and when they arrived at her car she took Auggie´s hand and placed it onto the door handle. Auggie opened the door, took a seat and folded his cane on his lap. Everything was so easy with Annie he thought. Nobody had understood his situation as quickly as Annie had. Not even his family. He had a positive feeling when he went out with Annie. After a 5-minutes drive they arrived at the restaurant. Annie parked her car directly in front of the bulding. Auggie got out of the car and just like before Annie touched lightly Auggie´s arm and together they entered the restaurant. "Buon Giorno Signore Augusto" sounded the voice of the Italian owner in Italian slang through the room. Auggie did not like his real name but the Italian version was okay. " _I ´ave a wonnderrfull table forr you_" and with these words the overweight Italian led them to a free table. When they reached the table Annie put Auggie´s hand on the back of the chair. And again Auggie was surprised. Annie seemed to have a natural feeling to anticipate what he needed in his situation. He did not have to say much and that was unusual after being colleagues for such a short time only. When both had taken their seats, Auggie ordered a bottle of Chianti wine and a plate full of "antipasti misti": He loved Bruschetta with garlic, olives and tomatoes with Mozzarella cheese. Auggie carefully explored the table layout with his hands and felt for the napkin and the cutlery to the left and the right of his table. Annie watched him and was surprised how efficiently he did that although he could not see. She had never seen him clumsy and she had never seen him run against objects. After a few minutes, the waiter arrived with the appetizers "May I serve you" he asked in Italian slang. "Yes, with pleasure" Auggie was grateful that he would be served. In an unknown environment he sometimes had problems with these things. Soon Annie and Auggie were enjoying their appetizers and chatted about this and that.

After a while, Annie asked the question that Auggie had already been waiting for "How did it happen?" Auggie knew exactly what she was talking about but he pretended not to know and said " What do you mean?" "Well" Annie cleared her throat "I was talking about your eyes". Auggie needed a second to find an answer and considered to tell her the story of a dead dog on the road and the IED but then he opted for a different version." I was on a mission abroad. A bomb exploded and short time later, I knew I could compete with Ray Charles". Annie was surprised that he could talk about that without a hint of emotion in his voice. The imagination to be blind was pure horror for her. She could not imagine to live without her sight. She also noticed that Auggie did obviously not want to talk about this event and so she changed the topic.


	6. Chapter 6

My Auggie story part 6

Auggie tossed and turned in his bed. This was one of these nights that did not let him sleep and that made him feel insecure and depressed. For hours he had been trying to find sleep and when he had finally fallen asleep about an hour ago, he had these horrible nightmares . Whenever he thought he had overcome the trauma of his accident he felt he was wrong. The nightmares returned. Not as often as in the beginning after the bomb attack, but often enough to haunt him and to make him feel insecure.

The nightmares themselves were not the worst about the whole thing but instead what came after them. Auggie had been blind for 12 months now. The explosion had thoroughly destroyed the life of his buddies and had extinguished every perception of light, colour and shape for him. Whilst many blind people had still a residual vision and perception of colour or light, Auggie had been living in a dark tunnel for the last 12 months. And there was no way to get out of that darkness. When he went blind, he had stopped to dream in colours. Just like at daytime, his dreams were a mix of voices, sounds, smells and tactile experiences. But when Auggie had these nightmares he could see. He could see Nassir placing the bomb, he saw himself running into the house where Jason, Chris and the other buddies were, he saw Billy on the passenger seat of the humvee and he saw himself running out of the building and fly through the air. HE COULD SEE ALL OF IT! When he woke up soaked with sweat, he painfully realized that he was blind and he could not switch on the light in the room to distract himself from the nightmare pictures by other visual impressions. Every time he had one of these dreams he felt like he went blind all over again and that was a terrible feeling. Also today it was a terrible experience. Auggie slowly got up and pulled off his sweat-soaked T-shirt. Then he walked into the bathroom to splash some cold water onto his face and went to the closet to grab a fresh T-shirt. What time was it anyway? He slowly felt for the talking alarm clock on his nightstand, pressed the talk-button and heard a voice "it is 5:30 am". Fantastic, he thought in an hour it would be time to get up and going back to bed meant that getting up later would even be more difficult. He made his way to the living room and felt for the Braille labels on his CDs. He found a Mingus CD, put it into the CD-player, took his headphones and settled down on the sofa with a blanket. Shortly after that he fell asleep again despite the music.

Tock, tock, tock….Auggie….Auggie…. Aaaaauuuuggiiiieee! Auggie woke up by a loud knock on his door. He was a bit disoriented, rubbed his eyes and noticed that he had still his headphones on. Therefore he had not heard the ringtone of the alarm clock in the adjacent bedroom. "Who is it?" He asked with a tired voice and slightly annoyed. "It is me, Annie, open the door!" Auggie slowly went to the door and opened. Annie entered the room and was shocked. She had never seen her colleague like that. He was unshaved, had dark circles under his eyes and seemed to be very confused. "Auggie what is going on with you? We have been waiting for you for 3 hours now." "What? What time is it?" Auggie was embarrassed that he had fallen asleep again but even more unpleasant was the reason. He did not like it to talk about his past and even less about his accident. Everybody knew him as the smart guy who worked efficiently despite his handicap and he always quipped or had a blind joke on his lips. He did not want the people to see the other side of him. The vulnerable blind guy who was insecure at times, full of doubts. This other Auggie had to stay at home. He did not want to show how strenuous it was to live a "normal" life and how exhausting some things could be when you couldn´t see. He did not want pity and therefore he kept his private life secret. Annie had literally caught him in one of the darkest moments of his life. And he did not know what to tell her without giving away too much of himself. Therefore he just said "Let me get under the shower. You can prepare a coffee in the meantime if you like. I need one and you, too I suppose. But please put everything back, so that I can find it later" And with these words he vanished into the bathroom. Annie started the coffeemaker. After a while the scent of fresh coffee filled the room. When she had just finished her first cup of coffee, a shaved Auggie stood in front of her. Nothing reminded her anymore of the unshaved and sleepy man she had met minutes before. Auggie wore dark blue jeans with a leather belt, a light-grey shirt and a dark-grey vest. Although he could not see he was always neatly dressed. However, the majority of his clothes were grey, black or dark-blue. From time to time he also wore a white shirt. This rather monochrome choice made it easier for him to dress without having to fear that he appeared in a ridiculous combination of colours and patterns.

"That smells really good" Auggie stated and walked towards the coffeemaker to pour himself a cup. He reached for the shelf above the kitchen counter, took a cup, ,put it onto a small tray next to the coffeemaker and poured himself slowly a cup of coffee . He put the right index finger a little below the rim of the cup to prevent himself from spilling the coffee. Annie watched him quietly and was fascinated. She had always brought him coffee but she had never seen him doing things like that. The way he moved around his kitchen made her forget that he could not see. Auggie felt Annie´s gaze and said " I know that you are looking at me" Annie flinched. She had not expected so much intuition and stammered. "I …I …just wanted….but….never mind…" Auggie understood and said "You just wanted to see how the blind guy is able to pour himself coffee, right?"Annie blushed and replied "To be honest, yes, I wanted to see how you do that" " Well, that is nothing new. Many people think that a blind person is incapable and tob e honest up until a year ago I thought that too."

Now Annie understood. She remembered that Auggie told her that his accident happened in October. And it was October. Should Auggie´s current state have something to do with the accident? Was it the first "anniversary as a blind guy"? Annie dared not to ask him. Maybe Auggie himself would broach the subject. With pleasure Auggie sipped his coffee and after he had finished the cup he said "Let´s go"

Annie touched the back of his hand and he took her arm and let her guide him. In the car Auggie put his folded cane onto his lap and was lost in thought. After a few minutes of silence he started talking. " We were in Tikrit, we were supposed to find a terrorist in his hideout. We did not know that one of our people was a terrorist as well. He placed a bomb in the building where my buddies were. The bomb exploded, the house blew up, and when attempting to flee I found myself flying through the air. After that everything went dark and it stayed dark. With his last words Auggie´s voice had become barely audible. His emotions were clearly visible." I do not like to talk about this, but since the accident I often have nightmares. Today, it is exactly one year that my life changed entirely" Slightly shocked Annie had listened to Auggie´s story. She was surprised that she did not know much about him. She had never assumed how vulnerable her usually funny colleague was and how much he still suffered from his handicap. „Thanks for being honest with me" Annie said „ And I promise I won´t tell anybody why you were late today". That was exactly what Auggie wanted to hear.

After a long day in Langley Annie was glad to be back home again. She had prepared a hot bath and was now relaxing in her tub. The conversation with Auggie in the morning was still in her head and she asked herself what it was like for him to live in eternal darkness. After 20 minutes she got out of the tub and and decided to make a test. She got dressed and then with a thin scarf she blindfolded herself. Immediately she felt insecure. Although she new her place, she ran against doorframes, stumbled over a pair of shoes that she had left on the carpet, and almost spilled half of the beer, when trying to pour it into a glass. And then, the disaster was complete, when the phone rang and she could not remember where she had left the cordless device. The ringing did not stop, and just like before Annie stumbled over shoes and hurt her toe when she ran against the coffee table. When she finally found the phone the ringing had already stopped. "Dammit" it was not easy when you could not see. Auggie moved around so freely in Langley and at home that she sometimes forgot that he could not see. Now it dawned on her how much effort it required to move normally and with independence. Annie remembered that next to the door she had stowed her Umbrella. She slowly made her way to the door and used the umbrella as a cane when walking back to the living room. Doing this, she got an impression how much information one could get by using a cane. With the umbrella as an extension of her arm it was a little easier to avoid obstacles like the couch table or the armchair. After an hour, she took off her blindfold and her admiration for Auggie grew. She could not imagine to live like that every day. How awful was it for him, to live in a dark world consciously knowing what he had lost. Was it easier for people who were blind from birth, because they had never known another life? This and many other things went round and round in her head. Auggie had been thinking about everything as well. After he had arrived at work with a three-hours delay he could not concentrate on his job. Concentration however was crucial, when you could not see. He missed the phone a couple of times when picking up the receiver (that did usually not happen), he ran against the doorframe when he walked to Joan´s office for a meeting and he had to type a few codes again and again because he was not focused enough when deciphering the combinations. All of that was due to the fact, that he could not stop thinking about the things that had happened a year ago. And he also thought about how he had opened up to Annie about that. Had he told her too much about himself? He liked Annie and her open mind, but he almost regretted that he had told her about his problems. He did not want pity and he did not want her to walk on eggshells because of him. His mother had done that until he got the fill of it all. It made him shiver when he thought of the days directly after his accident. His boss had informed his parents and his Mum Gladys hat taken the next plane to get to him. His mother was with him when he learned that his optic nerve was damaged and she immediately started sobbing. He did not know what was worse, to" see" his Mum cry or to get this terrible news. During the following days his mother tried to protect him from anything that might upset him and her voice was full of pity and worry. That made him feel like a child again. He was not a 5-year old boy anymore, but his mother treated him like that. One day he was so fed up that he had an emotional outburst. He shouted and screamed at his mother and told her to leave him alone. Her reaction was another stream of tears and Gladys Anderson left sad and hurt the hospital room of her son. As soon as she was gone, Auggie regretted his reaction. But he had to let off steam. The thought to depend on other people´s help and to start from scratch like a child made him worried and insecure. Where was the brave soldier and the courageous CIA agent who stayed cool in almost any difficult situation? When Auggie remembered all this he suddenly heard the phone ring and a voice announced "Annie Walker calling". With tentative steps Auggie walked towards the phone. He did not want to talk to anyone but on the other hand he was happy to hear Annie´s voice again. He picked up the receiver and heard " Hey Auggie" on the other side of the line. "I would love to have a beer and could use some distraction. But I don´t want to go out alone" Auggie hesitated for a while and then agreed "Okay, I could also use a beer. In 20 minutes at my place?" "Perfect" Annie replied. Auggie put back the receiver and went into the bedroom to change. He was still in his work outfit. He slid the door of his closet open and felt for the Braille tags on his clothes. Then he chose a white shirt and blue jeans. Moments later he heard a knock on his door. With confident steps he went to open the door and opened it for Annie. Annie looked fantastic in her short mini-skirt and with her red blouse. She had put up her blond hair in a bun and hat put on a little make-up. She had gotten used to the fact that her best colleague was blind. But the thought that he could not see her in her outfit felt still a bit strange. "Hey Walker, come in" Auggie opened the door and let her in. Annie was always surprised at how neatly organized Auggie´s flat was. Compared to her "creative chaos" Auggie´s apartment was a real contrast. Of course she knew that this was due to the fact that he could not see. There was nothing worse for a blind person than a messy environment. Auggie went to the kitchen counter, took his folded cane and went to the door. "Follow me Mylady" he said with a smirk and took Annie´s arm. When he locked the door, he grinned again and said "Probably best if you drive". Annie was happy that Auggie was in a better mood again. Her plan seemed to work. She wanted to distract Auggie from his sad thoughts. Fifteen minutes later, they sat at a table in Allan´s Tavern with a huge glass of beer and some snacks.


	7. Chapter 7

my Auggie Story part 7

Tack, tack, tack….Auggie made his way through the shopping mall with his cane. He wanted to buy a present for Annie. In a couple of days was her birthday and he did not want to miss the opportunity to offer her a little present. But he still had no idea what he could buy for her. His lack of sight made the choice not easier, that was clear. Auggie knew the shopping centre, he had been there before and the different scents helped him with the orientation. Right after the bakery there was a gift shop. When he smelled fresh pastries he turned a little to the right and found the shop door. A young shop assistant had noticed him already and asked him politely "Can I help you Sir"? "Yes, that would be nice" Auggie was grateful for help. Shops were like a maze for him and all the invisible products on the shelves were inaccessible for him when he could not use his sense of touch. In shops like this one he was afraid that he might break something and so he relied on help from the staff. " I am looking for a present for a good friend of mine" started Auggie the conversation. "In two days is her birthday and I want to offer her a little present." "How much would you like to spend?" The shop assistant asked. Auggie mentioned an amount and the shop assistant hesitated for a while. "what about some excellent bath-oil in an elegant designer bottle? Auggie liked the idea and allowed the shop assistant to lead him into the toiletry section. Seconds later the young lady showed Auggie a nice oval bottle and put it right into his hands. Auggie felt for the shapes of the bottle and opened the lid. A wonderful scent of roses came out of the bottle. Since he went blind scents and smells had a new meaning for him. He loved this scent. In addition, the young shop assistant suggested to add a fluffy bath towel. Auggie knew that Annie loved relaxing in her tub after a long day and bought both objects., Auggie put nicely wrapped up present into his messenger bag and started his way back home. But not without a coffee at his favourite café on the opposite side. This shopping centre was familiar and he found the entrance and a free table quite easily. He put his folded cane on the chair next to him and waited for the waitress. She soon arrived and took Auggie´s order for a huge cup of coffee with milk. While he waited, he was lost in thoughts and almost missed that someone approached his table. Then he heard a voice say "Hey Auggie, what a coincidence to see you again"! Auggie turned his head into the direction of the voice and tried to guess who was just talking to him. Voices of people he had only met a few times or voices of people he had not seen in a long time were difficult to match for him. Then he finally got it. The voice belonged to Cassandra, a young lady he had dated before he went to Iraq. "May I take a seat" she asked Auggie and he nodded into her direction. Cassandra sat down and ordered a double Espresso when the waitress arrived. "Hey Auggie, where have you been so long?" Cassandra asked and a radiant smile played around her lips. "I have not seen you in a while" Auggie managed to keep eye contact when he concentrated on the person next to him. One of the few capabilities from his time as a sighted person thaw was why Cassandra did not immediately realize Auggie´s handicap. "Well, I spent some time abroad and had to give my life a new direction" Auggie answered. "And I got married in the meantime" Cassandra said, for 4 months I have been Mrs. Johnson now and with this comment, she opened her handbag and took out a photo and showed it to Auggie. But then she got confused when Auggie did not take the photo out of her hand. She swallowed, blushed a bit and said…"Oh my God…Auggie…are you…." And before she could finish her sentence Auggie understood and finished the sentence for her by saying "Yes, I am blind. I have been blind for a year and a half more precisely. I was injured in Iraq. Now I am fine again but I got myself a souvenir. And then he started moving his hand before his face." Only then, Cassandra saw the folded white cane on the chair next to him. " And how did you come to terms with all of that?" Is there anything that might help you to see again?" "Unfortunately not" a bitter smile played around Auggie´s mouth when he spoke. "But…" he continued " I have started a new life and I get along well. I got a job, too, so what more could I want?" Cassandra put the photo back into her tiny white handbag and put the money for her Espresso on the table. She got up and said "It was nice to see you again Auggie" and then she hesitated. Auggie noticed that she was a bit insecure and said "Yeah , it was nice to see you again, too" After Cassandra had left, Auggie stayed a while until he put the money for his coffee on the table, too. Even in his wallet everything had its place. The banknotes were all neatly folded up in different sizes. That made it easier to distinguish them. After musing for a few moments more Auggie left. He unfolded his cane again and made his way to the loft 2 blocks from the shopping centre. At home, Auggie put his folded cane on the dresser next to the door. The encounter with Cassandra had made him a bit insecure. Before his accident, before he lost his sight, he had been a womanizer. He had spent many nights with attractive girls by his side. He had a way with the ladies and that was not a disadvantage for a spy when he needed important intel. Today, getting in touch with the ladies was not so easy anymore. He could not watch an attractive girl from the distance and he could not flirt anymore by exchanging glances. Today, he was interested in the voice, the scent and the way someone talked to him. Just like Cassandra, women did not immediately notice that he could not see. He had already made the experience that they talked to him and when they noticed that he could not see, they immediately left. This had happened to him a couple of times when he visited a bar together with his brother while he was still in rehab. Those trips were special for him because they meant a nice distraction from the daily routine that consisted of Braille lessons, mobility training, cooking class and many other things that should prepare him for a life without his sight. Although Auggie was adapted to a life in darkness as far as possible, he sometimes felt hurt when people did not take him seriously because he could not see or when women that seemed to be interested in him suddenly turned their back on him. Fortunately not all of them were like that. Annie was different. She was not only brave and very self-confident but also beautiful (he was told she was) and knew how to deal with his handicap. She talked to him like she talked to everyone else and made no attempt to be over-protective. Auggie liked that and loved her company.

**Two days later**

Peep..peep..peep…." it is 6:30 am" Auggie´s talking alarm clock announced. Still sleepy he felt for the button to stop the alarm and went into the bathroom. He let the water of the shower run until it was warm enough and took a long shower. When he was almost done with drying himself with a towel, he heard a knock on the door. He felt for the white bathrobe, put it on and went slowly to the door. "Who is there" he asked and heard "It is me, Annie". A little surprised he turned the key and slid the door open. "Why do I have the pleasure of such an early visit in the morning?" Auggie was really surprised now. Annie had been at his place a couple of times but never so early in the morning. Something had happened he assumed. "Well, I thought we could drive to Langley together" Annie said and she added "Well, I mean I will take you to Langley in my car. Your apartment is on the way and you would not need your driver´s service." Auggie had listened with surprise and asked " Is that it?"

"Yes, why?" Annie replied. „Well, it is so early in the morning and I assumed that something has happened" „No….! You are not happy to see me?" "Of course Annie but I am only a bit surprised. And as you see I have to get dressed and there is still time for a coffee I think". Auggie went to the kitchen counter felt for the box with the coffee and filled a few spoons of coffee into the coffeemaker. Then he went to the kitchen sink with the coffee pot. He took a cup and filled four cups of water, into the glass-pot. This way he knew exactly how much water he had in the coffee pot. To take the coffee pot and fill it with water did not make sense for him. He could not see the mark. But with his method he always had the perfect quantity of coffee and water. Finally he filled the water from the glass-pot into the coffee maker and pressed the start button. Just like before Annie had watched him and was always astonished at how easily Auggie navigated in his own environment. Seconds later the coffee started running into the glass-pot and Auggie had vanished into the bedroom. Whilst he chose shirt, tie and trousers by feeling for the Braille tags, he pondered what to do with Annie´s present. Originally he wanted to invite her for a drink at Allen´s but this was the perfect opportunity and so he decided to give her the present directly. Completely dressed, he took his phone from the nightstand and called the driver to cancel his ride. When he entered the kitchen the coffee was ready and Auggie filled two cups with strong coffee. After he and Annie had emptied their cups, he fetched the present that was stowed in the bedroom closet. When he came back into the kitchen Annie had taken a seat at the kitchen counter and was surprised that Auggie had something in his hands. "My dear Annie, this is a special day and I would like to offer you a little present" he smirked. Annie was astonished, she had not assumed that Auggie would remember her birthday. "Wow" she said. "You remember my birthday, that is unbelievable." „Yeah, I always remember the birthday of special people" „And am special?" "For me you are" "And what makes me so special?" "Well…" Auggie hesitated a while. He did not know how to start without giving away too much of himself. "You are not only a good colleague, but also a very good friend. What I appreciate most is, that you take me just the way I am. Not everybody does that. I think you know what I am talking about" Annie understood and she felt somehow honoured because of so much praise. Auggie gave her the nicely wrapped package and a little card with a note " For a very nice person" The handwriting was not very clear and slanted a little, because Auggie had written it himself. Writing clearly without seeing was not so easy. Annie was really touched and wiped away a little tear from her eyes. This time she was glad, that Auggie could not see her. She was curious and immediately unwrapped the parcel. When she saw the glass bottle with the lid, that was shaped like a golden rose she was delighted. Auggie had particularly liked the lid when he had felt for the shape of the bottle. "Many thanks, Auggie" And when she unwrapped the fluffy bath towel she pressed it against her cheek and said " that is so super-super fluffy, thanks a lot" Auggie could hear the joy in Annie´s voice and wished for the first time that he could see her. A little later they both sat in Annie´s car. Auggie was happy that Annie took him to Langley. The driver of his car service was very nice but he still preferred Annie´s company. During the ride they chatted about many things and finally Annie suggested. " I could pick you up every day" and she added "if you like" Because she knew, that Auggie hated it to depend on other people. But eventually it did not matter who took him to work. He needed help to get to his office. "Offer accepted with pleasure" Auggie replied after a second.


	8. Chapter 8

My Auggie story part 8

During the past weeks Annie had picked up Auggie every morning with her car. Auggie enjoyed Annie´s company and he had not the impression to depend on her. Arriving in Langley he made his way to Joan´s office. There would be a meeting in 10 minutes. Together with Joan he wanted to discuss who else he could hire for his Tech Ops team. At Joan´s door he knocked and heard "come in". He entered the office and Joan came towards him and led him to a small couch right below the huge window. "Well, Auggie have you thought about who you want to hire for your team" Joan started the conversation. "Yes, I have two applications on my desk. However, they are not from within Langley. Despite that I want to see these candidates. When using the term "see" Auggie grinned. He still found it a bit odd to use these words since "seeing" meant not the same for him as before. But he always encouraged his colleagues not to renounce to terms like"we will see" or "look at that please" . He had his very own approach when it came to work. Auggie opened the folder he had brought and scanned the pages with his fingers. "My first candidate is Eric Barber. He is 28 years, has studied computer science and has been working as an admin for various companies. And if I am not wrong, he is also a talented hacker. He would be available at short term. My second candidate is Frank Hollmann. He is 30 years old has a degree in economics and IT and has been a programmer. In addition he was trained as an electrician. An ideal combination." Joan had listened to Auggie´s report and asked now „When do these two men arrive?" "The interview with Eric is in…" Auggie opened the lid of his Braille watch and felt for the time "….2 hours and Frank Hollmann should arrive at 3:00 pm today". "Good" Joan agreed to Auggie´s suggestions. Should these two men not be suitable candidates, she still had some candidates from within Langley on her list. But at first she wanted Auggie to have the choice. He was the one who would have to work with them. And this did not only concern the knowledge that was required but also the personal relation among colleagues. She took Auggie for an excellent employee but in his special case, good co-workers were important. Not everyone could deal with the idea to have a blind boss.

2 hours later

Eric Barber walked through the halls of Langley. This was his first job interview after he had been dismissed by the computer company. He was visibly nervous. Not everyone got to enter the holy halls of the CIA and got a job offer from there. He hoped that the interview with his potentially new boss would be positive. Short time later he arrived at Auggie´s office. Another colleague had accompanied him and now she knocked on Auggie´s door. "Hey Auggie, your candidate for the Tech Ops job is here" "thanks Sarah" Auggie took off his headphones and got up from his desk. He slowly let his hand trail along the desk and walked towards the door. "Welcome Mr. Barber, please take a seat" and with these words he made a movement into the direction of the visitor´s chair in front of his desk. Then he extended his right hand and Eric Barber took it to shake hands with him. After tha,t he slowly walked back to his desk and sat down again. "Well, Mr. Barber…please tell me a bit about yourself" "With pleasure" Eric cleared his throat and started talking. The most interesting part for Auggie were Erics technological inventions. Apart from his job as an IT clerk he always had a project he was working on. Auggie liked that. He needed people oft hat type for his team. When Eric had finished, Auggie opened the folder with the application and slid his fingers across the pages. Then he said "You say that you are available at short term. How shortly?" Barber had watched Auggie reading with his hands and was surprised. He had not noticed anything before, but now he realized that Auggie obviously could not see and he got a little nervous. "Mr. Barber?" Auggie was confused because the man in front of him did not answer. „Oh….ah…I…well…excuse me….I could start right away. If you want to hire me for your team" "That is the reply I wanted to hear" Auggie smiled. He had noticed that Barber was a little insecure and had already guessed the reason. "Welcome to my Team Eric, provided that you would like to work with me. And to make things clear from the very beginning, I cannot see, but all the other senses work perfectly, even better" Now, the colour of Eric´s face matched the colour of his red hair. He was slightly embarrassed that Auggie had noticed his hesitation and he said "I would like to be a member of your team if you don´t mind working with a guy with red hair and a red beard" This joke broke the ice between the two men and Auggie´s team had a new member. The conversation with Frank Hollmann went well, too and Auggie had achieved his goal to hire two new employees for his team.

The following morning Barber and Hollmann were already sitting in Auggie´s office and listened to Auggie´s explanations regarding their new job. After Auggie had given a detailed description of what he expected, he finished and said "Now that we have talked about all the work-related details, I would like to say something personal. I am blind but I usually get along very well alone. If I need help I will ask. One thing however is really important. In my office and in your office rooms nothing should be changed without informing me first. No cables and wires that I might trip over and no objects on the floor. The most important: no changes on my desk. As long as everything has its own place I get along well. If I have to "look" for things, that will cost me valuable time. These rules have nothing to do with being picky, they are instead a basic necessity when you cannot see. And now that I have made that clear I am looking forward to working with you" He said that with a friendly smile and had the feeling that the ice between him and his co-workers was broken now. Barber and Holmann had listened and nodded. Auggie assumed that because he heard no reply. Therefor he said jokingly " And when you are nodding I cannot see that either" The two guys blushed and said unison " We will try to remember that boss"

Auggie´s new co-workers were already involved in the new mission. Annie was supposed to take down a Russian weapon´s dealer. She spoke perfectly Russian, so there would not be any problem to get in touch with the "target". Her cover would be that of a room maid in the hotel were the Russian guy was staying. Barber and Hollmann had spent the last couple of days with the construction of a very tiny microphone that could be hidden under the button with the name. The entire hotel staff had to wear buttons with their names on it. Annie´s button read " Catherine Walker Room Service". Nobody would assume that Annie could understand Russian and so she would be able to listen to the conversations of Dimitry Ivanov and his friends. The microphone would transmit everything into Auggie´s office.

The next day

Annie pushed her service cart along the hotel corridor and then she opened with her key card the door of room 233 and started cleaning the bathroom. When she had just started to clean the huge mirror above the wash basin, she heard how the guests in the room next door left. She heard the retreating steps, peeked through the door and opened quickly the room next door. Out of her apron pocket she took a little bug that Auggie had given her before and with quick and well practiced movements she fixed the bug under the bed and a second one in the bathroom below the wash basin. When she was ready she heard the guests come back. Quickly she pulled off the sheets and the bed linen and fetched the towels from the bathroom. Nobody would suspect anything. When she had just reached the door, the door opened and Dimitry Ivanov came in. With him a man with grey hair. Both men discussed and argued in Russian. „ Have you met our contact already?" „No, I was not able to arrange a meeting" „That cannot be true, what do I pay you for? You do not accomplish anything!" Ivanov shouted at his friend in Russian. When he saw Annie, he opened the door for her like a Gentleman. Annie opened the lid of the laundry box on her cart that stood in front of the adjacent room and took new towels and fresh bed linen from the cart. With a radiant smile into Ivanov´s direction she said "May I just change your bed linen? It will not take long" "Okay, you can do that" Ivanov replied a lot less friendly than before. He did not like the idea to have someone listening to him. On the other hand, what did he have to fear from an American room maid? Annie started to change the bed linen and the sheets. Whilst doing that she listened to the conversation of the two men. "How many guns did he promise you?" "We have not agreed upon a quantity yet" Ivanov became furious. "Again something like that, not only that you have not made an appointment yet, you are also unable to negotiate. I should look for a new partner or take care of everything myself. The attack on the Spanish embassy hast o take place next month. When our customers don´t want to make a deal with us we lose a lot of money" Annie was ready with the bed and had heard what she wanted to hear. She smiled again and left the room. Auggie, Barber and Hollmann had listened to everything. Operation Moscow had just started. Jay Wilcox and another agent would now start the surveillance of Ivanov and his buddies and they would take them down as soon as the deal was concluded.

5 hours later in Langley

Auggie sat at his desk typing on his keyboard. Inbetween he always slid his fingers across the Braille lines to check what he had written. When he was almost ready with his text, he heard familiar steps approaching. He lifted his head into the direction of the door and asked "Miss Walker, what are you still doing in this office? Do you miss the CIA?" A broad grin played across his face and Annie grinned back." Yes Mr. Anderson. Above all, I was longing for you and for your irresistible charm" " I love to hear that" Auggie got up and trailed his hand along the edge of the desk and walked towards Annie who still stood in the door frame. "To be honest Annie, that was excellent work. Finally we have found something to get hold of Ivanov and his buddies. The rest is Jay´s and Denise´s job. As soon as we know the meeting point and the time, we will take them down and that is it"

"How about a beer at Allan´s?" " I cannot resist this temptation" Auggie said. With these words he shut down his computer and took his folded cane out of the desk drawer. Annie stood beside him and touched his hand with hers. Auggie took her arm and let her lead him out of the office. This gesture had caused rumours in the entire department. Normally Auggie would find his way alone. If he permitted someone to guide him, this was a sign of extreme faith. Up till now he had only allowed that to Joan Campbell. Now it had become a habit that Annie guided him when they worked together.


	9. Chapter 9

My Auggie story part 9

Mission in the Dark

"Auggie would you please come into my office? " Joan Campbell stood in the door frame of Auggie´s office and as usual her posture showed authority and self confidence. Auggie let his head phones slide to his neck and "looked" into the direction of the voice. "Of course, do you need me right now or can I just finish this task? I might be done in half an hour" "Okay, in 30 minutes in my office but not a bit later please. It is very urgent."

Half an hour later Auggie knocked on Joan´s door. The scent of perfume told him that Annie was there as well. He slowly moved his cane, found the chair in front of Joan´s desk, found the back of the chair and sat down next to Annie. " We have a new situation" started Joan the conversation. " An American businessman is presumably involved with a terrorist group, a group connected to the Spanish ETA. They plan and organize attacks. It is very difficult to get hold of this guy because he acts very cautiously. We thought we might get to him with the help of his wife. His wife however is blind and not of real assistance since she is still very helpless. Annie, your new mission is to befriend the wife of Jeremy White and to observe the whole situation. The challenge is, that you have to pretend to be blind. As an obviously blind woman you should be able to find out what Mr. White is planning to do. As a blind friend of his wife nobody will suspect anything. So, this time Auggie will be involved into the mission as well. Auggie had listened to Joan´s speech and grinned "Welcome to my world Miss Walker. It will be a pleasure for me to prepare you for a life as a blind woman." Annie had been prepared for almost anything but not for that. She felt a lot of respect for Auggie and the way he lived his life without being able to see. But how should she be able to live blind or to even simulate blindness ? "And how shall I establish contact with Mrs. White" Annie wanted to know. "Well, Mrs. White has not been blind for a long time and needs a lot of help. You will tell her that you are a member of the Association for the Blind and together with Auggie you will be out on that mission. You and Auggie will visit her and whilst Auggie will teach her daily living skills and Braille you will check the house. You will be a married couple for the mission. In order to simulate blindness successfully, you will "take class" with Auggie. He will teach you what you need and lesson No. 1 starts right now.

Joan took a small package with a bottle out of her drawer."Lean your head back a little bit and don´t move " she said. Joan opened the little bottle and in the bottle there were two black contact lenses. She instructed Annie not to move and put the lenses into Annie´s eyes.

Annie had gotten used to a lot of things and she was not easily scared, but now, within seconds, the world went dark for her and she felt sick and almost got into a panic. She felt for Auggie´s hand and squeezed it. "So that is what the world looks like for you?" "Yes, that is what it is like for the rest of my life. And to help you get around you will spend the next days with me and I will teach you the secrets of a life in darkness. " Being blind was truly not a pleasure and Auggie would not wish that to anyone. But despite that, he liked the idea to show Annie his world. Although Annie never made him feel that he was "different" and treated him like everyone else, he was glad. Now he would be the one in charge and she had to rely on him. And so Auggie got up, took Annie´s hand and placed it right above his right elbow. He unfurled his cane and said "Come on Miss Walker, The mission has started" With hesitation Annie got up and took Auggie´s arm. "Reversed roles Mr. Anderson , right?" "Exactly, so let us go home now". On their way through the building Annie relied completely on Auggie´s lead. If she had not seen before how efficiently he used his cane, she would not have trusted him so much. And so she let him guide her to the exit. She had never assumed how difficult it was for a blind person to orient themselves in a sighted world. But now that she was blind herself, her admiration for Auggie and all that he accomplished on a daily basis grew. Everything that he did, seemed to be so effortless. And only then when he used his white cane she really realized his handicap. Arriving at the exit Auggie found the way to the car that was waiting for them. He found the door, opened it and before he got in he put Annie´s hand on the door so that she could get in first.

After a 25 minutes drive they arrived at Auggie´s home. Annie carefully stepped out of the car and waited for Auggie to offer her his arm. It was a strange feeling to suddenly depend on other people. Slowly Annie got an impression of how Auggie felt when he was in unknown places and had to rely on other people. Two minutes later they entered Auggie´s flat. Auggie folded his cane and put it on the dresser next to the door together with his messenger bag and his keys. "Lesson no. 2 Miss Walker, keep your apartment neatly organized and put everything back into place so that you can find it again without problems." And then Auggie felt for Annie´s hand again and led her slowly through his apartment. Annie tried to remember where everything was but she always ran against something or bumped against furniture. She had not had any idea how difficult it could be for a blind person to move around an unknown room. She had been to Auggie´s place before but she did not remember exactly the position of all furniture pieces.


	10. Chapter 10

My Auggie story part 10

Annie woke up, opened her eyes and she could not see any light. At first she slightly panicked. What time was it? She had no idea. Then she remembered what happened the day before. Joan had sent her on a mission. And she was supposed to play blind. Now she was in Auggie´s apartment because he wanted to prepare her for this role. Who else could do that better than him? He had been living in darkness for quite a while and had to live without his eyesight. Annie was always surprised at how good he managed to do that. Now it was up to her to try to live without seeing. Only now she realized how hard that was. Slowly she tried to get up. With her feet she tried to find her slippers. She put them on and went into the bathroom with tentative steps. She opened the door and found Auggie in front of the sink shaving . The electric razor hummed and a few seconds later she heard Auggie pulling the plug out of the socket. "Good Morning Miss Walker. What was it like to wake up on your first day as a blind girl?" "Do you want an honest answer?" "Yes ,please" Auggie said. „Okay, I have to admit that I was really scared when I woke up and I did not know what time it was because it is still dark all around me" Auggie grinned. "That is normal. I needed weeks to get used to the dark nothingness before my eyes when I woke up. I usually do not like talking about that but my first weeks as a blind guy were as scary as hell. I panicked when I tried to walk and I felt like a helpless child. I also refused to take the white cane because I believed that this would not be forever. The people at the rehab centre had a hard time with me. When I finally started to accept my condition and started to use the cane, I regained my self confidence again. I did not run against walls or furniture and doors anymore. Slowly I learned to become independent again. I cannot tell you how hard that was. But you will realize how difficult everyday tasks can be when you cannot see anymore. It all looks so easy but you need a lot of practice and concentration. And that is lesson No. 1 for today Miss Walker. You have to pour yourself some coffee. I have started the coffeemaker before I went into the bathroom. Coffee should be ready right now. We both will now go into the kitchen and prepare breakfast. Auggie made a few steps towards Annie, felt for her hand, put it onto his right elbow and said "May I offer you my lead Mylady. Breakfast is served" Annie still felt very strange when she took Auggie´s arm and went into the kitchen with him. To depend on other people was a frightening experience. In the kitchen Auggie said "The cups are behind the second door" Annie slowly felt for the cupboard and took two cups out. "Okay, and now a little further to your right and you will find the coffeemaker. Take the glass pot and try to find the rim of the cup with the muzzle. Then put your left index finger on the rim of the cup to feel how much coffee you have already poured. " Annie had listened to Auggie´s instructions and tried to do what he told her. First everything went well but then ..Ouch….Annie had poured too much coffee into the cup and the hot coffee spilled and burned her finger."Yeah, that is what happened to me in the beginning ,too" Auggie laughed because he had guessed what had happened. He slowly went to the sink to get a cloth. He carefully cleaned the kitchen counter with the cloth and then poured himself some coffee, too. After he had put the two cups on the kitchen counter he took two slices of toast, put them into the toaster, went to the fridge to get butter, cheese and honey and put everything on the counter. Annie went to the counter as well with slightly extended hands, felt for the chair and when she had found her coffee cup she took a first sip. Then she said. „Auggie I did not know how difficult everything is when you cannot see. I really underestimated what you go through every day. It all looks so easy. "Yeah , Miss Walker, and to make it look so easy I have worked really hard. But there are still days when things do not work the way they should. Right after breakfast Annie went into the bathroom. When she emerged again she was dressed and Auggie said to her "Joan has given us two days off. We should use this opportunity for lesson No 2. Mobility training with a cane. I have a second cane, a spare cane. You will take this one to practice. I want you to unfold the cane and try to orient yourself here in my apartment." Auggie took the cane, handed it over to Annie and then he stood right behind her. With his hand he took Annie´s wrist and showed her how to move the cane. Slowly Annie tried to get round the apartment with the cane. She found the couch, the couch table and finally the door and the dresser next to the door. With a cane in her hand she felt a bit more self confident because she did not fear to run against something. Auggie had noticed how Annie moved around and after a while he suggested "I think we might as well go for a walk. What do you think Miss Walker?" Annie got nervous. But she would have to do that sooner or later. "Why not? You have a very competent person by your side. Someone who knows the environment" "Okay" Annie agreed. But she still felt somewhat uncomfortable.

"Ok, then let´s go" Auggie took his jacket from the warderobe, grabbed his cane from the dresser and offered Annie his arm. Outside he said "You will now use your cane and walk right next to me. Please listen to what I say and nothing will happen to you" Moments later they both walked along the sidewalk until Auggie said "Stop! We have to cross the street here. I will show you how to do that. Feel for the curb with your cane and then try to stand half a step from the curb away. Listen exactly to the sound of the traffic and where the sounds come from. When the traffic lights emit a humming sound the lights are green and we can start walking. But despite that, you should listen if all the cars have stopped before you start walking." Annie had listened to him. With trembling knees she stood next to Auggie and said. " I would prefer to take your arm when we cross the street, that makes me feel better" "Okay, the lights are green, the traffic lights emit a humming sound..Let´s go." Annie took Auggie´s arm and both swept their canes back and forth whilst crossing the street. Reaching the other side Annie almost stumbled over the curb. "Ooops….that went almost wrong! "Yeah, you have to use your cane to find the curb" Auggie said. He noticed that Annie was trembling and said "Okay, enough for today. What about a huge ice cream or a piece of cake? Close-by there is a nice café and I would like to invite you". Auggie smiled. "I could use a little snack" Annie replied. I was so scared. Walking across the street without seeing needs so much bravery. I admire you more and more" "But Annie, I don´t deserve so much praise. But of course it is not easy to cross the street when you are blind. I also was extremely scared when I took my first walks with a mobility instructor. But if you do not want to stay at home all the time, you have to give it a try. I did it and I have re-conquered a piece of my old life." When they arrived at the café, Auggie found a free table with his cane and he and Annie sat down. Shortly after that the waiter appeared and took their order. They ordered two huge pieces of chocolate cake and two cups of cappuccino.


	11. Chapter 11

My Auggie Story 11

Annie had learned a lot during her week with Auggie. She had completely relied on him and had delved into his world. At the beginning she had been scared but after 3 days, she started to relax despite the darkness around her. If Auggie had not been by her side, she would not have adapted so quickly to the situation. Yesterday, on her last day in darkness, Auggie had shown her how to read Braille.

They both had sat down at the kitchen counter and Auggie had taken her hand and had explained to her every single letter of the Braille alphabet under her fingers. At first, everything was a maze and a confusion of dots for her, but then when she tried to relax a bit, she started to distinguish the first letters. This week had been very instructive for her in many ways. First, she had learned what it meant to be blind and how to deal with the daily routine. On the other hand she had learned a lot about herself. She would not have assumed, how fast she could adapt to a new and sometimes even scary situation. And third, she had learned a lot more about Auggie. He had opened up to her about things, that he usually kept like a secret. He did not like it to speak about his feelings and emotions. Especially when he had to admit a weakness. The usually self-confident tech-geek had a vulnerable side and she had gotten to see this side.

The next morning on her 8th day Annie took out the contact lenses and was relieved. She finally could see the light of day again and could perceive her surroundings. However, her eyes had become quite light-sensitive after this long period of darkness. But she also felt a bit sad because she knew that Auggie would be blind for the rest of his life. Up til now Annie had not really thought about that because she had not known him when he was still sighted. During her week as a blind girl she had felt a closer bond between Auggie and herself. He had been her companion and had helped her whenever she wanted to give up. Knowing that he would never see again really hurt her now. Auggie had shown her a lot during this short period of time and Annie felt well-prepared for the mission. She had learned to move like a blind person and knew how to interact with other people. Contrary to Auggie, Annie had decided to wear dark glasses during her mission This was not unusual for blind people and would make her less conspicuous when watching her environment. The adventure was about to start and Annie was excited about how all of that would turn out. Auggie was a good teacher, that was entirely out of question. She had noticed that herself and so he should be able to help convice other people of his capabilities as well.

The mission begins

Annie was in the bathroom and prepared herself for her first day on a new mission. She had chosen a casual outfit with jeans, a white blouse and a dark-blue jacket. She looked neatly dressed but not too elegant. She put on a little make-up and took the white cane, that Auggie had lent to her, into her right hand. Auggie would pick her up in about 5 minutes. His regular car service would also pick her up because as a blind girl she could not drive to work in her red VW. She had chosen her safe house as her residence during her mission. Nobody knew her there and so nobody would suspect anything when she left the house as a blind girl. A few minutes later a horn honked. Annie had waited outside and let the car driver guide her to the car. Auggie sat in the back of the car and waited for her. "Good morning Mrs. Bennings" He grinned. The mission had started. In about 15 minutes they would arrive at their destination and would establish contact with Mrs. White. When they arrived at the Whites´ house the driver opened first the door for Annie. Auggie got out of the car himself, unfolded his cane and felt his way along the length of the car until he reached Annie´s door. He offered her his arm, she took his elbow and together they made their way to the door. Annie kept her cane folded in her hand for the short way to the door and took Auggie´s lead. Auggie found the steps to the door and said "Be careful Annie, steps" Although the driver knew about the mission because he was CIA as well, they were not supposed to forget that Annie was just faking blindness. Auggie reminded her of the steps to be more inconspicuous then he felt for the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door "Yes, please?" A female voice said a short moment later "Mrs White?" "Yes" "We are James and Pamela Bennings from the local Lighthouse for the Blind. You asked us for help and we are now here to have a first conversation with you" "Yes, please come in" With tentative and hesitating steps Mrs White led the way to the living room. Annie noticed how much problems the lady had to get around. She had watched Auggie in unknown places but he had not been as helpless as this woman obviously was in her own house. A lot of work was waiting for them now, in order to give Mrs White a bit more self confidence and mobility. This was the perfect cover for their plan.

Auggie and Annie slowly followed Gloria White into the dining room. Even Auggie, who could not see at all, noticed how slowly she moved and how she bumped against furniture and objects. Short time later they sat at the large mahogany dining table above them a hug crystal chandelier "I would like to offer you something to drink" started Mrs White the conversation "but I am still very clumsy and I do not want to embarrass myself by pouring coffee on the tablecloth" "That is what we are here for Mrs White" Auggie answered . We will teach you the basic skills for your daily and independent life as a blind person. When you are familiar with your home routine, we will start with a cane and orientation and mobility training outside" "Oh my God!" Gloria exclaimed. "Do you seriously want me to walk along the streets all alone with a white cane in my hand?" "Yes, that is exactly what I am talking about" Auggie replied. "If you don´t want to depend on other people you will have to learn how to get around with a cane. That is not easy in the beginning. I know that from experience, but you can learn all this and the first times you will not be alone. Just try to have a little courage! The cane training is not on your schedule yet. We will start with pouring something to drink, getting the right clothes etc . " Gloria had listened to Auggie´s explanations and suddenly started sobbing " I would never have thought that something like that might happen to me. My life was just perfect and then this stupid accident with the detergent happened. My eyes were vitriolized and nobody could help me. But do you know what the worst about all that is? Not that I am quite helpless…no….all the other people and friends have turned their back on me. My Bridge ladies, my charity committee and even the members of our "so Christian" church community do not visit me anymore. They do not want to get in touch with a blind person. I feel like I am stranded on a dark and lonely island. If I start to walk around with a white cane right now I will make a fool of myself. That is simply too much for me" Annie sat next to Mrs White and now she took her hand tried to comfort her and said „You will find new friends. And when you become a member of our Lighthouse community you will surely find some nice people who are not interested in superficial things. "Thank you" Gloria squeezed Annie´s hand in return and took a hanky out of her elegant white cashmere cardigan to blow her nose. Annie had listened to Gloria´s monologue and had scanned the rooms. Everything was elegant , yes, almost sterile. Like a designer furniture exhibition. The whole house had „no soul". Everything seemed to be reduced to the outer appearance. Soon Annie would find out what was behind all of that. They made a bit of smalltalk conversation and Auggie and Annie explained what type of assistance the Lighthouse for the Blind could offer Mrs. White. There were cooking classes, Braille classes, sports and activity programmes and a lot more for all members.

"Would you please show me the kitchen now" Auggie asked after a while " We want to see how you can get around and what is still missing" Just like before, Gloria led the way whilst Annie and Auggie followed her. Auggie counted his steps as he usually did and swept his cane to the left and to the right across the floor. Arriving in the kitchen, Mrs White said " three steps to the right there is the stove" Auggie found the way with his cane and checked the stove by moving his hands across the surfaces "You should add some tactile dots. With those adhesive dots you can mark the settings and check whether the stove is off or on. Is there also a microwave oven here? "Yes" Gloria replied "But the device has digital keys. Difficult to handle" "Okay, then you should buy a microwave with turning knobs and mark the settings with adhesive dots as well." Auggie added.

"May I use your bathroom please" Annie asked "Sure, right through the door, the second door on the right" Gloria informed her. Annie found the bathroom and discovered that the opposite door was open. Obviously this was the office of Mr. White. A glass desk with a computer, a huge book shelf and a number of sideboards and a cupboard with roll-top completed the interior. Annie decided to have a closer look at the room during her next visit. For today her time was almost over and next time she would take a USB stick with her to steal a few files from Mr White´s computer.


	12. Chapter 12

My Auggie story part 12

The mission continues

Annie leaned back. She was exhausted. After the visit at Mrs. White, she and Auggie had gone to Langley to inform Joan and then they went to Auggie´s place. Now they were sitting on Auggie´s couch and the sound of Mingus filled the room. Auggie had opened a bottle of wine and was just about to get two wine glasses from the kitchen shelf. With well measured steps as usual, he walked through his apartment. In his own environment one could easily forget that he could not see because he moved without effort. But Annie had also experienced moments when her best friend was vulnerable because he had lost orientation in an unknown environment. But she did not want to think about that when the both toasted.

"I think we have taken the first important steps" Auggie started the conversation. "You were very convincing" "Thanks" Annie smiled and then she said " I had no idea how hard it is to simulate blindness. Excuse me Auggie to say that, but I almost prefer to be really blind because faking blindness requires a lot of concentration and despite my training with you I am scared that I might be discovered" " Don´t worry Annie , I do not take that as an offense. I have come to terms with my life in darkness . As a sighted guy I would presumably have the same problems that you have." Annie took a sip from her wine and said "I am glad that you say that" and then she put her wine glass back on the couch table. "There is something I want to say to you" Auggie said and hesitated a bit "You know , sometimes I am glad that you did not know me when I was still sighted, I mean before my accident. I do not have a precise idea what you look like, but it is the same with everyone else. But you are the first person that takes me just the way I am. From the very beginning you never made me feel that "I am different" and I really appreciate that. The people I knew before my accident seem to compare me to the man I was before. The successful spy, the brave soldier…there is not much left of all that. Sometimes I feel like I am less valuable than before, less useful. I cannot go to the field anymore and I cannot be a soldier to support my buddies. I am in charge of my Tech Ops office but I miss the world outside. And even though I know that I am not fit for field work, being in the office all the time is not always a pleasure especially when you were used to do other things." Annie had listened to Auggie´s speech with huge eyes and she was deeply touched. She had not had any idea that Auggie had so much that was going on and so much that still bothered him. On the other hand she felt a bit proud, that Auggie trusted her enough to tell her all that because he usually was not a man of many words.

10 days later

Auggie and Annie had visited Mrs. White every day and as far as Annie could tell Mrs. White made progress. For today Auggie had planned the first walk outside. She was supposed to get used to walking with a white cane. "Are you ready Gloria?" Auggie asked "Yes, I think but I still feel a bit awkward."

"I can understand that perfectly" Auggie replied" "that is exactly how I felt when I went on my first field trip with my instructor. But it went better every time and one day I was not scared anymore to walk along the streets with my cane. Let ´s go out and you will take my right arm. Later I will tell you about the rest" Gloria took Auggie´s arm, Auggie unfolded his cane and both left the house. Annie had not arrived with Auggie, she had waited in a distance and had watched the house from there. When she saw Auggie and Gloria leaving, she made her way to the house. Mr. White was on a business trip that week and that gave her time to nose around the house a bit more whilst Auggie was teaching Mrs. White O& M. Annie slowly opened the door with a lock pick. She had been there before and thought she knew where she had to go. She went directly to Mr. Whites office, started the computer and took a look at the various files after she had hacked the password combination. After a while she found something really interesting. A document in Spanish, of enormous importance. She quickly inserted her flash drive and started the file download. Then she looked for other interesting data and photos when she heard steps. She quickly shut down the computer, put the flash drive into her pocket and crawled under the huge couch next to the enormous book shelf. This was the place where Mr. White usually sat down reading books. She had just managed to hide under the couch, when two men entered the room. They were discussing and arguing in Spanish and spoke very quickly „_Ya te lo dije, no está! Tenemos tiempo para buscar y después nos vamos! El cabron se equivoca si cree que somos unos tontos y que no nos damos cuenta de lo que está planeando". Great, she thought while she was peeking from underneath the couch to watch the two men. Those guys were obviously collaborating with Mr. White . But according to the conversation they were not good friends. Otherwise they would not have called him an "asshole" and would not be searching his house. Both men started to look around the book shelf. They threw all the books on the floor assuming something might be hidden behind them. Then they opened the roll-top board and searched the files in it. Finally they started the computer. But they did not know the password and soon Spanish curses and swear words filled the room. „Maldito cabrón, te lo juro que vas a conocernos…te lo juro…hijo de puta…._" Annie hoped that she was safe under the sofa and that they would not discover her and she was lucky. After half an hour the men left the house and a devastated room. First Annie considered to clean up the mess, but then, she thought it might be better for Mrs. White to find out by herself what kind of husband she had. However, Annie and Auggie had to take special care of her in order to protect her.

Moments later Annie left the house and went directly to Langley to talk to Joan about what she had just discovered. Shortly before she entered the holy halls of Langley she called Auggie in his cell phone. "Hello Annie" "Yes it is me, I just wanted to tell you that we have to be very careful now. When I downloaded some files I was lucky enough not to be discovered. Two Spanish men broke into the house and I could hide under a couch in the office. Both men were very angry with Mr. White. We made the right assumption. This man is involved in a lot of dirty businesses." Auggie finished the call and said "Yes, thanks Gloria and I are done for today. I´ll see you at the centre then" And turning to Gloria he said " That was my wife, she said that she has a new client for me. I have to go to the centre to pick up his address and all the details to get to him. You see, we are needed! Even if you do not see anymore, you can still accomplish many things in your life, remember that." "Thanks for encouraging me so much" Mrs White smiled. "I would not have believed that I would manage to come out of my "little snail shell" again, into which I had withdrawn in the last months. I have to become independent again for me and for my husband. I do not want to embarrass him in public" "That is the spirit" Auggie said "And now that you have overcome the first hurdle, you don´t have to take my arm again when we walk back. Just walk right next to me. And so both walked back to the house whilst sweeping their canes in a steady rhythm. Suddenly Gloria was not so scared anymore of her future as a blind woman. Auggie had given her more self confidence and she was convinced, that a sighted instructor would not have been as successful as someone who had the same experience. After ten minutes they reached the house of the White family. Gloria walked to the door, found the steps with her can and opened the door. "Thanks a lot Mr. Bennings, for everything" and then she vanished into the house. This was a good start but for Annie and Auggie it was the beginning of a lot of work.

Now Auggie walked away as well. With confident steps and sweeping the ground before him with his cane he walked along the sidewalk. After a few minutes he took out his cell phone and made a calle "Annie , can you pick me up? I am at the crossroads of Lincoln Alley" "Okay I will be there in 5 minutes" Short time later Auggie heard a car stop next to him and a well-known voice said " You have ordered a ride Mr. Anderson?" Auggie found his way to the door with the cane, felt for the door handle, opened the door and took a seat. Then he folded his cane on his lap. " I think we are on the right way" he said and Annie replied " Yeah, I think so too. We have got the first hint what Mr. White might be up to. I would easily recognize these unpleasant guys at any time."

Back in Langley Auggie got back to his job. With the info that he had gotten from Annie and the data from the flash drive he had a basis. The flash drive contained a list of numbers and dates. Auggie switched his computer on, started the speech programme and put on his headphones. He was just listening to the voice that read the names and numbers on the list to him, when he heard someone coming into his office. He turned his head towards the door and asked "Jai"? "Yes it is me. How did you find out so quickly?" „Nobody else walks into my office in a cloud of Tom Ford Azzurre Lime" Auggie teased. "1:0 for your olfactory sense" Jai replied and then he added with an ironic undertone. "Don´t you think that this mission is a bit too difficult for you?" "What do you mean" Auggie had taken off his headphones and hat put them on the desk. Whenever someone doubted his capabilities because of his handicap he got suspicious and he got a bit irritable. "Well…as everyone knows you cannot….ah…I mean …..you cannot see and I doubt that you can react quickly enough when things get complicated" "Thanks for trusting me so much Jai! Auggie felt offended. "And besides you might as well use the term "blind" this word is also part of my vocabulary. And concerning the mission, our target is the blind wife of a business man. Who else would be more inconspicuous to establish contact than me? But if you like, we can switch roles and you can borrow my white cane. But to be honest I seriously doubt that other people might believe that you are blind and in addition I doubt you will manage to walk with a cane properly". That was an answer that Jai had not expected and he did not know what to say. He immediately left Auggie´s office. When Jai had left, Auggie continued his research. He compared the list of names with some information on the internet and then …..BINGO! As he had already assumed, the names were all related to an ETA terror cell. The dates were presumably the days when the attacks should take place. Now they had to find out about the places. Auggie pressed a key to print out the data on a Braille sheet and seconds later and with another click he printed the same sheet in regular print. Auggie took his cane in one hand and the two printed pages into the other and made his way to Joan´s office on the second floor. "May I come in?" Auggie had knocked on the door and now made his way to Joan´s desk. "Of course, take a seat" Auggie felt for the chair and sat down." I just found something interesting. This list here contains the names of an ETA terrorist cell and the dates underneath are presumably the days when the attacks will take place. Auggie let his right hand slide across the page and read "Rinaldo Gomez, Juan Cortez, Adolfo Gutierrez, Jose Luis Sanchez….They are all well-known terrorists and Interpol and the Spanish Police have been looking for them for years. We just have to find out where and when Mr. White is going to meet with them.

"Excellent job Auggie" Joan said and smiled. At least someone who appreciated his work, and did not,like Jai, consider him an incapable person.


	13. Chapter 13

My Auggie story 13

When Auggie arrived at Mrs White´s house the following morning, he found her confused and very scared. Trembling with fear she explained to him " Just imagine, when I came home yesterday afternoon I got a shock. I went into my husband´s office to open the window. When I came into the room, I stumbled across things on the floor. There were books and filers spread all over the floor and later on I discovered that the roll-top boards were broken. I spent a sleepless night because I feared that somebody could still be here, hiding somewhere in the house."I can understand that this was a shock for you" Auggie said. Of course he knew exactly what had happened before. "Did you notice anything else? Were other rooms messed up as well?" "No, just the office but what have these people been looking for? We do not have any valuable things there" No valuable things Auggie thought but information of enormous value. And then he asked "Did you inform the police?" "Yes, but they could not find out who did that. There were no traces or fingerprints" "Despite that, do you feel like going for a walk with me? Auggie wanted to know. "Yes, I guess so. Maybe that is he best way to distract myself a bit" Gloria said and stood. She slowly went to the door and took her cane from the dresser in the hall. Auggie followed her. He unfolded his cane as well and both left the house. "Today we will cross the street" Auggie said "Just keep in mind, the cane is from now on your best friend. If you know how to handle it , it will protect you from harm. Okay….first you feel for the curb with the tip of your cane and you stay half a step away from the curb. When walking try to remember that the cane moves to the left when your right foot steps forward and the left foot steps forward when your cane moves to the right. Listen to the traffic to find out where the cars are coming from. When you cannot hear any sounds or noise you can cross the street. But if you are not sure, it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help." Auggie thought of his own experience. How often in his first months as a blind man had he asked for help. Today he only needed assistance when he was in unknown places. On familiar ground he almost moved as easily as before and also in Langley he did not need to be led. Sometimes however, he allowed Joan to guide him or Annie. Being led by someone meant that he trusted the person but despite that, he mostly kept his cane extended as a symbol for his disability. If he kept the cane folded, it meant that he really trusted his guide. "Wow, I did it" Gloria White was happy and smiled "I really did it and I managed to cross the street without help" and Auggie replied "You see, you can achieve more than you imagine, you just have to be a bit more self-confident. That should be enough for today. You are really talented, but you need a bit more faith and trust and everything will be fine again" When Auggie and Mrs White reached the house Gloria asked "Do you still have some time for a coffee?" "Yes, with pleasure" Auggie followed Gloria into the living room. Up til then he had only been in the dining room. Carefully he explored the room with his cane and finally found the huge white leather couch with an oval glass table in front of it. He sat down and listened to Gloria who was preparing coffee in the kitchen. He was proud of his student. Two weeks ago she could not even pour herself a glass of water and now she had learned a lot from him and Annie. After some minutes Gloria came back with the coffee. She oriented herself and set the tray with the coffee pot and two cups on the table "Help yourself" she said to Auggie and then Auggie felt for the coffee pot and the cups and poured himself some coffee. A bit of caffeine gave him new energy and after a while Gloria wanted to know "May I ask you something?" "Yes, of course" "How did you lose your sight?" Auggie hesitated and he was not sure whether to tell the truth or to make up a story . He opted for the truth, or at least a part of it." I was a soldier in the Iraq war. A bomb exploded, the buddies of my unit lost their lives and I lost my eyesight." Gloria swallowed : She had expected an eye disease but not something as terrible as a bomb explosion. "Oh my God" she said " That is horrible. Don´t you have nightmares sometimes?" Auggie swallowed "Yes." It was true that these events returned again and again in his dreams . Then he woke up trembling and soaked with sweat. Gloria noticed that this was a soft spot and said " We´d better change the topic. I would like to invite you and your wife next Saturday for dinner. My husband and I have invited some guests and I would appreciate your company : My husband will be glad to finally meet the people who have helped me so much." Auggie thought _that could not go better. The perfect opportunity to get in touch with Mr White. _And then he replied "My wife will surely be glad about this invitation. It will be a pleasure for us to come"

Annie stood in front of her bedroom mirror. She did not know what to wear for the dinner invitation at the White´s . She finally opted for a black satin dress with a long slit that reached her ankles. The dress was sleeveless and around her neck she wore a pearl necklace. A pair of elegant shoes with not too high heels completed her outfit. Minutes later she heard the honking horn of a car. Auggie was already waiting for her on the back seat and the familiar driver took them to the house of the White´s . Annie wore her dark sun glasses and kept her cane folded in her handbag. She would take Auggie´s arm. Fifteen minutes later Mr White opened the door. „ A pleasure to finally meet you Mr. And Mrs Bennings „ he said with a smile. Annie and Auggie followed him into the living room where the party had already started. About 15 people of different ages were talking whilst enjoying Sherry, Champagne or a glass of wine. In the adjacent dining room a small buffet was waiting. It consisted of appetizers, cheese cubes, caviar toast, shrimps cocktail, French Baguette bread, Spanish Chorizo sausages and a couple of delicacies more."What may I serve you" Mr White asked when he entered the room with Auggie and Annie "Sherry, Champagne, wine?" I would love a glass of Champagne Annie said and Auggie answered "For me a glass of dry red wine please" "Just a second" the host disappeared and soon returned with two glasses "Would you like to sit down?" He asked, because Auggie still stood with his hands resting on top of his cane "If you find a nice place for us" Annie answered . Mr. White offered Annie his arm to lead her and Auggie slowly followed them to the huge leather couch. They all took a seat and Jeremy White said " I am so grateful, that my wife has made such a lot of progress in a very short time. That is all your merit and a perfect reason to invite you today." Auggie felt for the table and set down his wine glass "We really appreciate your invitation and we are glad that our efforts have already paid off. Although this is only the beginning, There is still a lot what your wife could and should learn." Annie cautiously scanned the room and then she saw a familiar face. She tried to overhear a part of the conversation the man was just having but she could not hear anything from the distance. All that she noticed was that the man was speaking in a Spanish accent. Then suddenly she remembered where she had seen his face before. On the internet she had found a wine website. The owner of the wine growing estate and the vineyard was José Miguel Cervantes. But what was he doing here at the party? She assumed that he had some connection with Mr White and his ETA buddies. She wondered how she could start a conversation with him. As a presumably blind women it was not so easy. Maybe she would find an opportunity later. Then she saw that Senor Cervantes walked to the door in order to go to the buffet in the adjacent dining room. But then he stopped at the door and talked to someone. Annie took her cane out of the handbag, squeezed Auggie´s hand as a sign for him and walked slowly with her cane to the door. Arriving, she strayed a little and slightly bumped into Senor Cervantes „Oh excuse me" she said with a sweet smile. The man turned round, saw the white cane in Annie´s hand and replied with a Spanish accent " Doesn´t matter, no problem" "Maybe you can help me" Annie continued " I would love to have something from the buffet but I need some help to make my choice" Flattery was one of Cervante´s specialiteis and so he replied " It will be a pleasure for me to help a beautiful lady" Both entered the dining room when Cervantes offered Annie his arm for a lead. At the buffet Cervantes filled Annie´s plate and led her to the dining table where Gloria White was already sitting with Senora Cervantes. When Gloria heard Annie´s voice she said "Senora Cervantes, may I introduce you to Mrs Bennings from the local Lighthouse for the Blind, she and her husband have really helped me a lot in my new condition" "Encantada, nice to meet you" Mrs Cervantes smiled. Annie started eating and had to remind herself not to look onto her plate but to feel for the food with her fork instead. Then she decided do close her eyes. Underneath her dark glasses nobody would notice that.

Meanwhile Auggie was sitting alone and a bit lost on the huge white leather couch. Mr White had left to take care of the other guests and even Annie was busy now. In moments like this he was fully aware of his handicap. He could not just walk away and talk to the other guests. Lack of eye contact made that difficult. And when nobody talked to him to start a conversation, he felt lonely and out of place during events like this. He got a bit hungry, too so he unfolded his cane and walked to the dining room. A couple of guests were still at the buffet and a young lady helped him to fill his plate. Moments later he found himself sitting at the huge dining table on the opposite side of Annie whilst enjoying his food.


	14. Chapter 14

My Auggie story part 14

Auggie had gotten used to a life without sight and in eternal darkness and usually got along very well. Even Joan was sometimes surprised how he had adapted. She and many other colleagues and friends had known him before the accident. But there were still days when Auggie considered his visual disability a curse. He had come in late, or early, depending on the point of view, after the cocktail party. It had been worth it he thought. He and Annie had met a couple of people and Annie had noticed that Mr. White had vanished with Senor Cervantes for some time. However, she could not find out what these two had been up to. Anyway, it was a step further into the right direction.

When Auggie got up he had the mother of all headaches. Not enough sleep, alcohol… an ideal combination for a migraine attack . Since his accident and the brain-trauma he suffered from these symptoms when he was stressed. Usually he got along very well at home, but this morning he had shaved with trembling hands and a pain that was even visible on his face. The consequence of all that was a broken after shave bottle, tiny glass pieces everywhere on the floor and an injured right index finger because he cut himself when collecting the glass pieces from the floor. This was not only annoying because of the wound, but even more, because he needed his right index finger to read Braille. The other fingers could also take over that job but they were not as sensitive and well trained. A band-aid on the index finger was more than just inconvenient for him. Before his accident he would not have thought that such small details could mean so much. A tiny wound on his finger had never been a disaster for him but today it took him an important part of his independence and that annoyed him. But despite that, he had to get to his office. His desk was packed with work to be done. He threw in a migraine-pill, had some toast and made his way to the door where the car service was waiting for him already. Maybe he could go home a bit earlier today. He had worked a lot of overtime recently. After the migraine pill the throbbing pain in Auggies head had subsided and half an hour later he sat at his desk checking e-mails. It was incredible how many important messages had piled up within one day only. Before, a simple glance at the monitor on his desk had been enough, to see what was important and what was spam. Today, he had everything read to him by a computer voice and decided what to do with the message. Today was not his day. He was irritable and in a bad mood. Thanks to adaptive technology and special equipment he managed his daily tasks without problems but despite that many things took a lot more time since the lack of eyesight required different techniques. Feeling frustrated, Auggie leaned back in his chair. He closed his eyes and was lost in thought when Joan came into his office. He had not noticed her. Joan cleared her throat and Auggie opened his eyes, sat up in his chair and turned his head into her direction. He felt a bit embarrassed because his boss had caught him while he was idle and said "Sorry, I had to relax for a moment and was lost in thought." Joan knew Auggie very well and said "It´s okay." She knew that something had happened when Auggie was in such a state "Can I help you" she asked him and Auggie replied "No, I got it. This is just one of these stupid days when everything seems to go wrong" And then he started talking about his migraine and the broken bottle in the bathroom. His boss was also something like a mother for him. She valued Auggie as a colleague and understood what was going on with him. She knew how difficult things could be for him since he had lost his sight and she also knew that it was serious when Auggie´s bad mood was clearly visible. When he had a little problem nobody would notice that, but today the entire burden of his disability came down on him and made him irritable, furious and sad. He was even more sad, because he was not able to hide his emotions. The former soldier in him would not permit to show vulnerability.

"Auggie, I got a new assignment for you" Joan said "Senor Cervantes is obviously pulling the strings at ETA. We have found out his address and have send out a team to install bugs and secret cameras in his house. You should also inform your team to do the same at Mr White´s house. I have already talked to Annie to let her check the best places for a bug during your next visit. Originally I wanted to send you both but considering your current ….let me call it…._malaise_…she´d better go alone." Auggie nodded. He hated to turn down a job but today he was grateful for Joan´s decision. He would already be glad if he managed to accomplish a part of today´s tasks "Okay, that´s it" Joan said and went out of the office. Annie stood on the doorstep and rang the doorbell. A moment later Gloria opened and the two ladies went into the living room. Annie wanted to talk to Gloria about her progress and wanted to ask her what else she would like to learn. Today Auggie should have been there for a Braille lesson. After a while Gloria started talking about the burglary again. Of course she had no idea that Annie had witnessed it and then she went into her husband ´s office to show Annie what had happened. Annie pretended to explore the room with her cane and took the opportunity to take a closer look at the computer. She saw a webcam attached to the computer screen. She memorized the name of the camera model and had a plan. Back in Langey Annie explained the webcam model to Auggie. Her plan was to install a similar camera with remote control so that they would have _ears and eyes_ in the room at any time. Auggie called Hollmann into his office and explained to him the project. As soon as the tiny camera-spy was ready Annie would try to install it in Mr White´s office.

Auggie had left the office a bit earlier and had gone home. He was sitting on his couch and listening to Mingus when the doorbell rang. He opened and noticed it was Annie. "May I come in?" Auggie stepped aside, opened the door a bit wider and said „of course" Annie stepped into the room and asked "Is there a light switch somewhere?" "Yes" Auggie felt for the switch next to the door and the lights went on. Since he had gone blind, light was of no special importance for him and so he often forgot to switch on the lights when he had visitors. He was always a bit embarrassed when his guests had to draw his attention to this fact. Annie sat down on the couch and asked directly "What is going on with you today?" Auggie shrugged "Nothing" "Auggie Anderson I know you and you cannot fool me, so spill it!" Annie said whilst trying to sound stern." Auggie got up, went to the fridge and took two coke cans out. He slowly made his way to the sofa and counted his steps. Then he handed one coke can over to Annie. „I don´t want to talk about it" he replied "And why not? What can be so terrible, that you cannot talk about it to your best friend"? Annie already had an idea what was going on. When Auggie refused to talk it had something to do with his disability. He was still fighting against it and sometimes he lacked self confidence. He was not the type of man to show weakness when things got difficult for him. "Okay" Auggie opened the lid of his coke can, took a sip and continued" I had a really bad day today. I woke up this morning with a terrible migraine and when collecting the pieces of a broken after shave bottle on the floor I cut my right finger. Now you might think ….that is no big deal….wrap a band aid around it…and here we go…but not for me. My right index finger is very sensitive and I need it to read Braille on my Braille keyboard, on documents etc . Needless to say that with a band aid on my finger I am almost unable to function at work. I got a couple of things wrong and that made me angry and it made me waste valuable time. I realized that I am not as good as I thought I was. When things like that happen I am suddenly aware of all my limitations in a sighted world." Annie had listened to him and was deeply touched. Now she took Auggie´s right hand into hers and said "Don´t worry so much. Of course it is not so easy when things go wrong but you should not let it take you down. Nobody in Langley will think you are less valuable when you make mistakes." Auggie was irritable and replied" I don´t want some sort of handicap bonus" "It is not about having a handicap or not, it is about being human and having the right to make mistakes. It is not important whether you can see or not" Annie said. "Maybe you are right" Auggie said "but sometimes it is still hard for me to think about the things I could do before my accident and the things I cannot do anymore. But enough of all that now!"

The following morning Auggie and his team were busy. They were preparing the spy-camera that was going to be installed in the White´s house. Auggie was supposed to go for a walk with Gloria again to practice cane techniques whilst Annie would install the camera. At 3 p.m. Auggie arrived at Gloria´s house. She was already waiting outside and both went for their walk. The topic of the day was a bus ride. Auggie wanted to show Gloria how to use public transport. Both walked to the bus stop around the corner where the bus No. 11 would stop. This bus only offered rides within town."Take my arm and stay right next to me" Auggie instructed Gloria. A few seconds later the bus stopped. Auggie used the cane to find the door and said to Gloria "hold your cane in a vertical position and count the steps, then get into the bus right after me" Gloria followed the instructions and Auggie found a free seat with his cane. Shortly after that the bus driver started the engine again and took them to the park on the edge of town. This was the place for everyone who wanted to enjoy some peace and quiet. One could feed the ducks, take a seat on a bench or rent a wooden hut for a weekend barbecue. Arriving at the park, Auggie and Gloria got out and strolled along the paths. They both enjoyed the sunshine on their faces, the sound of purling water from the lake close-by, the quacking ducks and the chirping birds in the trees above."What do you miss most?" Gloria asked after a while "You mean since I went blind?" "Yes" "Hmm…I don´t know, it depends on the situation. Sometimes I would like to see the face of the person I am talking to, sometimes I just want to see the sunrise or sometimes I just want to look at the photos that remind me of my vacation, of family events and so on. I have come to terms with my situation as far as possible but still there are moments when it hurts to be unable to see."

Meanwhile Annie was in the house and was trying to install the camera. She had just put the old camera into her bag and mounted the other camera on top of the computer screen, when she heard someone coming into the house. _Dammit, that was unexpected_! Just like before she hid under the huge leather couch and waited. Shortly after that, she saw Mr White entering the room _Wow, that had been really close_ . He had not seen her. Mr White put his briefcase on the desk and left. Annie was curious, she wanted to know what was inside the briefcase. But she thought it was too risky to take a look. She wanted to leave as quickly as possible. Later she heard the sound of the TV in the living room. Mr White was watching football. When men were watching sports events it was usually hard to distract them. So she took advantage of the situation and vanished into the bathroom that was opposite of the office. She opened the window and jumped out.


	15. Chapter 15

My Auggie story 16

The information that Auggie, Anne, Joan and the others had received by using the manipulated camera, was extremely valuable. In the meantime Joan had instructed some other agents with the surveillance of the other ETA members. Mrs. White had told her husband about the burglary and he had got nervous. He wanted to hide his dirty business and got suspicious. He called the Lighthouse and asked for an employee named Bennings. Auggie immediately learned about this call from his friend Alvin and thought _we have to act with more caution from now on_. Auggie´s next plan was to persuade Mrs. White to take class at the Lighthouse. The groups and classes lasted until the early afternoon and she would learn how to cook and many other things. During her absence her husband would be alone and maybe this would make him a bit less cautious. Auggie wanted to keep his cover so he decided to spend a few hours every day at the centre. He would teach Braille and mobility. Having two jobs at a time, was not easy and so Barber would take over a part of Auggie´s daily tasks. As much as Auggie appreciated his colleagues, he soon regretted letting Barber sit at his desk. After two days and a couple of annoying situations that repeated themselves, he decided to talk to Barber. "I think we need to talk" Auggie started the conversation whilst Barber sat on the visitor´s chair on the other side of Auggie´s desk. As usual Auggie did not make eye contact. Even after a while of collaboration Barber felt still a bit awkward that Auggie did not look at him. "Ahm…" Auggie cleared his throat "I cannot see, as you might remember. That means, that I cannot and that I won´t accept any changes in my direct environment without being informed previously. This also concerns my desk. As I have noticed, my phone is always in a slightly different position every time, my Braille lists with phone numbers were misplaced and I had to look for them and my paper bin was also not in place. In addition, I found breadcrumbs everywhere and sticky spots of coke or whatsoever. Barber,… I appreciate you as a colleague…. but when I ask you not to change things in my office, then it is not a joke, or an attempt to be picky, it is a basic necessity for me to get along at work. I hate to say that, but I am clearly helpless when this happens again. And to give you an impression what I am talking about, I want you to make an experiment. Put on this sleeping mask!" Auggie opened the top drawer of his desk and took out his cane and a sleeping mask and handed it to Barber. Barber looked confused, but he did not want to start an argument with Auggie and so he obeyed and put on the sleeping mask. "Now take my cane and walk to the door" Auggie instructed. With tentative steps and more fumbling than really sweeping with the cane Barber went to the door."And now come back to me" Auggie said. Barber turned and walked into Auggie´s direction. Shortly after, he ran against Auggie´s desk "Ouch…that was not the plan" Barber cursed. "Stay where you are!" Auggie said to him. And then he pushed his office chair into the middle of the room. Only he knew where exactly the chair was. "Now put down the cane, put it on my desk and walk to the door" Barber put the cane back onto the desk and slowly walked to the door. After 3 steps he collided with the chair. "Wow, what is the chair doing here?" Auggie now had a roguish grin on his face and replied „That is what I am asking myself every time I come back into my office and you were at my desk before. I have to rely on you. Don´t change anything in my office and at my desk! I must be sure that everything has its usual place. I don't want to use my cane all the time because I might stumble or trip over things in my office. Barber understood now and promised to observe Auggie´s rules. Before, he had not had any idea what it was like to be sightless. His respect for Auggie and his work grew.

Auggie now trusted that his office did not get messed up again in his absence. He would spend the following week at the Lighthouse. Every morning he would pick up Gloria and together they would go to the centre. However, he felt slightly uncomfortable with his job. This had nothing to do with the fact that he was usually not a teacher or instructor, but with the fact, that he was only surrounded by blind people there. Normally he was the only blind person at work but he was just one among many others at the centre. The advantage was, that everything at the centre had its usual place and so he did not expect sudden surprises. Auggie had a way with people and his sense of humour made it easy for the participants of the course to follow his instructions. After a few days Alvin asked "Are you in for a job change? We could use someone like you here." Auggie smiled „Thanks a lot for the flowers, but I ´d rather go back to my usual job later."One of the reasons that Auggie felt a bit uncomfortable was, that he was constantly confronted with people and their difficult lives. There were situations when one of the participants would start crying bitter tears of frustration about the loss of sight. Then Auggie felt uncomfortable because he also tried to forget that he could not see anymore and what dramatic circumstances had led to his destiny. Working at the CIA was different and when everything went well he almost forgot that he was blind.


	16. Chapter 16

My Auggie story 16

The information that Auggie, Anne, Joan and the others had received by using the manipulated camera, was extremely valuable. In the meantime Joan had instructed some other agents with the surveillance of the other ETA members. Mrs. White had told her husband about the burglary and he had got nervous. He wanted to hide his dirty business and got suspicious. He called the Lighthouse and asked for an employee named Bennings. Auggie immediately learned about this call from his friend Alvin and thought _we have to act with more caution from now on_. Auggie´s next plan was to persuade Mrs. White to take class at the Lighthouse. The groups and classes lasted until the early afternoon and she would learn how to cook and many other things. During her absence her husband would be alone and maybe this would make him a bit less cautious. Auggie wanted to keep his cover so he decided to spend a few hours every day at the centre. He would teach Braille and mobility. Having two jobs at a time, was not easy and so Barber would take over a part of Auggie´s daily tasks. As much as Auggie appreciated his colleagues, he soon regretted letting Barber sit at his desk.

After two days and a couple of annoying situations that repeated themselves, he decided to talk to Barber. "I think we need to talk" Auggie started the conversation whilst Barber sat on the visitor´s chair on the other side of Auggie´s desk. As usual Auggie did not make eye contact. Even after a while of collaboration Barber felt still a bit awkward that Auggie did not look at him. "Ahm…" Auggie cleared his throat "I cannot see, as you might remember. That means, that I cannot and that I won´t accept any changes in my direct environment without being informed previously. This also concerns my desk. As I have noticed, my phone is always in a slightly different position every time, my Braille lists with phone numbers were misplaced and I had to look for them and my paper bin was also not in place. In addition, I found breadcrumbs everywhere and sticky spots of coke or whatsoever. Barber,… I appreciate you as a colleague…. but when I ask you not to change things in my office, then it is not a joke, or an attempt to be picky, it is a basic necessity for me to get along at work. I hate to say that, but I am clearly helpless when this happens again. And to give you an impression what I am talking about, I want you to make an experiment. Put on this sleeping mask!" Auggie opened the top drawer of his desk and took out his cane and a sleeping mask and handed it to Barber. Barber looked confused, but he did not want to start an argument with Auggie and so he obeyed and put on the sleeping mask. "Now take my cane and walk to the door" Auggie instructed.

With tentative steps and more fumbling than really sweeping with the cane Barber went to the door."And now come back to me" Auggie said. Barber turned and walked into Auggie´s direction. Shortly after, he ran against Auggie´s desk "Ouch…that was not the plan" Barber cursed. "Stay where you are!" Auggie said to him. And then he pushed his office chair into the middle of the room. Only he knew where exactly the chair was. "Now put down the cane, put it on my desk and walk to the door" Barber put the cane back onto the desk and slowly walked to the door. After 3 steps he collided with the chair. "Wow, what is the chair doing here?" Auggie now had a roguish grin on his face and replied „That is what I am asking myself every time I come back into my office and you were at my desk before. I have to rely on you. Don´t change anything in my office and at my desk! I must be sure that everything has its usual place. I don't want to use my cane all the time because I might stumble or trip over things in my office. Barber understood now and promised to observe Auggie´s rules. Before, he had not had any idea what it was like to be sightless. His respect for Auggie and his work grew.

Auggie now trusted that his office did not get messed up again in his absence. He would spend the following week at the Lighthouse. Every morning he would pick up Gloria and together they would go to the centre. However, he felt slightly uncomfortable with his job. This had nothing to do with the fact that he was usually not a teacher or instructor, but with the fact, that he was only surrounded by blind people there. Normally he was the only blind person at work but he was just one among many others at the centre. The advantage was, that everything at the centre had its usual place and so he did not expect sudden surprises. Auggie had a way with people and his sense of humour made it easy for the participants of the course to follow his instructions. After a few days Alvin asked "Are you in for a job change? We could use someone like you here." Auggie smiled „Thanks a lot for the flowers, but I ´d rather go back to my usual job later."One of the reasons that Auggie felt a bit uncomfortable was, that he was constantly confronted with people and their difficult lives. There were situations when one of the participants would start crying bitter tears of frustration about the loss of sight. Then Auggie felt uncomfortable because he also tried to forget that he could not see anymore and what dramatic circumstances had led to his destiny. Working at the CIA was different and when everything went well he almost forgot that he was blind.


	17. Chapter 17

My Auggie story 17

The investigations in the White case went well. Thanks to the webcam and the information they had obtained, Joan and her co-workers were about to get hold of the ETA terrorists. Jai and Annie had flown to Madrid where a secret meeting of the terror group was planned. They had sufficient back up that was provided by Auggie and his Tech Ops team. Annie and Jai entered the Hotel Cuatro Reyes and walked across the lobby. At the reception desk they got their keys for the two rooms they had previously reserved. It was convenient, that the rooms 235 and 233 were just opposite of each other. After Annie had refreshed herself in the marble bathroom in front of the huge wash basin she chose her outfit for the following evening. She opted for a tight, red dress and for high-heels of the same colour. She added a pearl necklace and a pearl bracelet. Half an hour later Jai knocked at her door and she took his arm. Annie and Jai were supposed to be a travelling couple. The dinner at the restaurant was excellent and after a shrimps cocktail, sole with potatoes au gratin and Créme Brulée Annie put a hand on her stomach and said "It´s been a long time that I had such a fabulous dinner" During the meal Jai had taken her hand and had exchanged glances with her to make everyone believe they were a couple in love. From time to time they glanced over to the two targets three tables away from them. When Annie and Jai had finished her meal with a cup of Espresso, they noticed that the men left the dining room. As inconspicuous as possible, Annie and Jai slowly followed them and stepped into the elevator with them. Just like Annie and Jai, the men had also reserved rooms on the 2nd floor and Annie and Jai noticed which rooms they had booked. Later on Annie and Jai would install bugs in the hotel rooms. According to the photos Annie had seen, the men were Rinaldo Gomez and José Luis Sanchez, two of the most dangerous members of the terror group. She just needed an opportunity to get into the rooms and very soon she would get it.

The next morning Annie went to the hotel spa and was just swimming in the pool, when she saw Sanchez and Gomez enter the spa area. Jai had stayed in his room to get some things done using his laptop. When the two Spanish men got into the pool, Annie got out of the water, wrapped herself into her fluffy hotel bathrobe and took her cell phone out of the pocket. She sent a text message to Jai and he immediately made his way to the rooms of the Spanish men to install the bugs. Things could not be better he thought.

Part of the work was done and Annie and Jai had to wait for the results of her room surveillance. When Annie returned to her room after a few laps more in the hotel pool, her cell phone rang. It was Auggie. "How are you doing Ms. Walker" sounded his voice through the phone. "Apart from the fact that this is not a pleasure trip I am fine. A few laps in the pool and I am fit and refreshed" "You make me envious" Auggie quipped. "But let us be serious, how far have you got?" "Just as we assumed, Sanchez and Gomez are in this hotel and we have just bugged their rooms. We are getting closer to them" Auggie was full of praise and said "Good work, I could not have done it any better" "I am one of your students" Annie replied and Auggie laughed. He would have liked to be the man by her side on that mission, but he had come to terms with the fact, that he was not fit for field work anymore due to his handicap. So he just contented himself with being the man in the background for her. This was not always easy for him because their relationship had progressed and they were much more than just colleagues.

Annie had got dressed after her relaxing stay at the spa and wanted to start her computer, when she received a text message from Jai. She knocked on Jai´s door and both overheard a conversation of Sanchez and Gomez. „_Vale!Entonces nos quedamos a las 13:30 en la Plaza Real! Tienen el dinero? 50.000 EUR como acordado? Muy bien. Nos vemos. Hasta luego"_

_Now they had heard what they needed to hear. Annie, the linguist translated the conversation for Jai and both contacted their colleagues in order to prepare the next steps. Now they would impede the weapons deal and detain the terrorists. _During her last visit at the White´s house, Annie had bugged Mr. White´s cell phone and had added a GPS tracker. So they would be able to trace him and his contacts. The mission was on but not concluded yet. In Langley, Auggie had taken care of Mr. White and was busy with the surveillance of the cell phone. He had overheard a phone call and created an MP3 file. He sent the file to Annie and learned that Mr. White had asked whether his delivery had already arrived and whether the meeting with the recipient was already scheduled.

1 day later 1:30 p.m. Plaza Real in the suburbs of Madrid

Annie, Jai and the others were already waiting in their cars. The Plaza was crowded and the parking areas all around were all occupied. Jai and Annie were in touch with their colleagues via radio connection. After they had been waiting for a short time, they saw a black Mercedes come closer and two men got out of a car on the opposite side. Annie and Jai realized that these men were Sanchez and Gomez. The other car was a Mercedes delivery van that presumably contained the weapons delivery. When the four men wanted to switch positions and when Sanchez and Gomez wanted to get into the van, Operation Araña started. The CIA colleagues emerged from the other cars all around, got hold of Sanchez and Gomez and put handcuffs on them. During this whole procedure Sanchez and Gomez cursed and swore in Spanish. Annie, who had sufficient knowledge of the Spanish language did not hesitate to reciprocate when one of the men called her "puta americana" and "maldita zorra". Who would like to be called an "American whore" or "a fucking bitch?" The whole mission was a success. The weapons in the delivery van were immediately confiscated and the Spanish terrorists were now in custody of the Spanish justice authorities.

2 days later

Annie and Jai left the plane. The other colleagues had flown back home the day before. After a 13-hours flight and a short night, Annie felt tired. Exhausted, she made her way to the luggage area to pick up her suitcase. After she had collected her suitcase she walked to the exit. Jai had another appointment and would come back to Langley later. Getting closer to the exit, she suddenly spotted a well known person. The man was tall, slim but with well-toned muscles, he had dark and slightly curling hair and was holding a white cane. Annies tired face lit up when she realized who was waiting for her. "Auggie, that is a wonderful surprise" and with these words she ran towards him trailing her suitcase behind and pulled him into a hug. Auggie grinned "Hello Miss Walker. After such a mission I could not let you get back home alone. Would you please follow me Mylady." And then he made a few steps towards the exit, found the door with his cane and walked into the direction of the car that had been waiting for them already. Annie was tired after the long flight. Auggie had taken her home with his car service and had gone to Langley later. After a hot bath and a few cups of strong coffee she felt better and she was hungry as well. She wrapped a white towel around her wet hair and put on her blue bathrobe. She was just looking for the number of the Sushi delivery service when someone knocked on her door. Who could that be? She had no appointments and she had not invited anyone either. She opened the door and could not believe her eyes. For the second time Auggie surprised her. He stood on her doorstep with his white cane in one hand and a plastic bag in the other. "Delivery service for Annie Walker" he smirked and held the plastic bag out to Annie. " I have brought Chinese food. Chicken sweet-sour, Bami Goreng, porc with onions and rice." Annie was delighted about the culinary surprise "Auggie, you are a treasure" she exclaimed. "Come in" Auggie made a couple of cautious steps into the room and waited for Annie to close the door. She touched the back of his hand and he took her lead. He had not been at Annie´s place before and was grateful for help. Annie led him to the couch and put the bag with the food on the round couch table. Auggie felt for the couch, folded his cane and put it right next to him when he sat down. Later Annie would show him the rooms. In the meantime Annie had gone to the kitchen to get plates, cutlery and napkins whilst Auggie opened the boxes with rice and meat. Moments later, they sat on Annie´s couch enjoying their meal. After a while Annie jumped off the sofa and said "Oh my God, I must look terrible. I am still in my bathrobe and should better get dressed" Auggie almost choked on some soy beans and coughed. Then he grinned and said "For me you look perfect all the time" Annie laughed, nudged him with her elbow and said "Thanks, that was the compliment I just needed".


	18. Chapter 18

My Auggie story 18

Operation Araña was finally concluded and Auggie was happy. Happy, that he had been able to be part of a mission again. Since his accident in Iraq, and since he had lost his sight, this had not been a usual thing for him. From time to time however, he needed the feeling to have accomplished something. He wanted to prove to himself and to others, that even a blind man could do a good job despite the serious handicap. Auggie and Annie had spent the previous evening in Annie´s apartment. After the delicious Chinese food, they had chatted about this and that and later Annie had showed him around. As usual, he had taken her arm and she had explained where all the furniture were located and how he would find his way to the bathroom and to the kitchen. Again and again Auggie was surprised about Annie´s natural way to deal with his handicap. She did not pity him, she did not act like an overly protective mother, but she realized when he needed help. Her natural and unobtrusive way to offer help made it easy for him to accept her assistance without feeling patronized.

Auggie sat at his desk and was just about to print out a Braille sheet. The printer threw the page out and Auggie started to read. Annie was always fascinated how fast his fingertips could slide across the page and how fast he could read. During the first phase of rehab, even Auggie would not have assumed that he would be able to apply this reading method so perfectly. He had just finished reading the first page, when Joan came into his office. She knocked and asked him "Have you got a few minutes for me Auggie?" Auggie looked up and into the direction of Joan "Yes of course" he answered. As usual he did not make direct eye contact "Auggie, I was really fascinated how well you have accomplished this mission. That everything turned out fine is also one of your personal merits. You also have enormous qualities as a teacher and instructor and I have a new job for you. It is not a mission, but it is important." Auggie had listened to Joan and was curious. „And what are you exactly talking about?" He asked „Well, as you know, even the CIA has to fulfill a certain quota when it comes to the employment of people with disabilities." Auggie smiled and thought _who knows better than I do_. And Joan continued "We have hired a new secretary and switchboard operator for one of the other departments. Just like you, she is blind and I thought you could help her to get acquainted with the surroundings and could show her how to use the adaptive technology. You are the best for this job and she can benefit from your experience. Auggie had listened to Joan and was prepared to help. "I shall be glad to help" he said. Joan had expected this reply and explained. "Pamela Johnson will start working tomorrow. Maybe you can wait for her at the entrance at 9:00 tomorrow morning and show her the way to my office. We will talk about the rest when she has arrived.

The next morning

Auggie opened the lid of his watch and felt for the time. It was 08:55. The new colleague would arrive soon. For the very first time Auggie did not use his white cane but a new technology instead .At first sight the thing looked like a normal torch. But then, one realized, that the green light was a laser light. Using the laser rays he could scan and explore the surrounding area. Acoustic signals or vibration gave him feedback about obstacles. Auggie was surprised about this new invention and was prepared to give the prototype a try. Now he stood at the entrance waiting for Pamela Johnson. Short time later, he heard a car and then the sound of heels and the tapping sound of a cane. With the laser cane in his hand he made his way to the car and asked „Miss Johnson?" „Yes, I am Miss Johnson" was the answer of the young lady. "Great , my name is Auggie Anderson and I will help you to get acquainted with everything here." "That is nice" Pamela smiled but the smile did not reach her eyes. Instead she stared blankly into space. Pamela was slim, had brown hair that reached her shoulders and wore a light-grey suit and a white blouse. She had thrown the strap of her handbag across her chest and carried a white cane in her right hand. "May I offer you my lead?" Auggie asked and she replied "With pleasure. I am grateful for your assistance". Pamela took Auggie´s arm and they entered the building. Walking through the halls, Auggie explained where they were and after a short time, they reached the elevator. Auggie felt for the button and soon the elevator stopped. Auggie found the door, counted the buttons until the 3rd floor and the elevator started. Arriving on the 3rd floor, he knocked at Joan´s door "Come in" he heard his boss call. He knew the office very well and went directly to the two visitor´s chairs in front of Joan´s desk. He put Pamela´s hand on the back of a chair and took the seat next to her. Pamela was surprised that a stranger had so much intuition. She sat down, folded her cane and put it onto her lap. "Welcome to the CIA Ms. Johnson" started Joan the conversation. I see that you have found your way to my office." "Yes, Mr Anderson was so nice to help me. As a blind person, I am always a bit helpless in a new environment. I am grateful for assistance though." „You will work as a secretary and phone operator at the DPS. Your desk was set up and includes the technology you need to get around. Mr. Anderson will show you everything and he will tell you how to work with the programmes we use here. He is familiar with all of that. Let us no go over to your office". And with these words Auggie got up and offered Pamela his lead again.

Two minutes later, they had reached Pamela´s desk. A Braille printer, a document reader and a Braille keyboard had been installed already. Now Auggie felt for the edge of the desk, trailed his hand along until he reached the middle of the desk and took a seat. Then he picked up the headphones and started the computer. He checked all the programmes and said "Everything was installed perfectly. Now I can show you how to deal with all the programmes. Joan had quietly watched the scene and said "I think you don´t need me anymore. Mr Anderson can explain everything to you and much better than I could. I wish you a good first day. Welcome to the CIA." and then she left. In the meantime Auggie had pulled a second chair a bit closer and said to Pamela „Please take a seat. May I take your hand now? I would like to show you everything and how it works." Pamela was pleased about so much insight and replied "Of course" Auggie took her hand and showed her where printer, document reader etc. were located and gave her a short course in the use of the Braille keyboard. Because there were a couple of different models available. After a while, Pamela wanted to know "How long have you been working here?" And Auggie answered "Seven years. Two and a half of them as the boss of the Tech Ops department. We have a fantastic team and work is great. Then he grabbed a Braille list with all important phone numbers and gave it to Pamela. "These are the most important phone numbers. Should you have any problems with your special equipment, please contact me directly. I know better how it works than anyone else here does. But now I have to leave you. The colleagues from the department will inform you about the task´s for today. Should you have questions, just let me know" and then Auggie left the office. Pamela adjusted her office chair a bit and put on her headphones to read the e-mails she had already received.

The day passed very quickly and Pamela had a lot of work. In the morning, she had paid attention when Auggie had explained her the way and was now walking to the exit of the building when she heard the tapping sound of a second cane. A bit surprised, she stopped. Auggie had also realized the sound of her cane and said "Hello Ms. Johnson how did you like your first day?" "Oh Mr. Anderson! Can you tell me whether there are more blind people here in Langley? It was like I heard another cane." Auggie smiled and said "Yes, that would be mine." "Yours?" Pamela asked incredulously. I would not have thought that you are blind as well. You seem to be so self confident. I was only surprised how well you could explain everything to me and how well you seemed to understand my situation." "Well, you have to know, that I know almost every inch of this building. I have already worked here when I was still sighted. That was a clear advantage, when I came back blinded after my accident a bit more than two years ago. I have just started using a new technology for my orientation." And then Auggie explained how the laser cane worked. Then he added "Up til now this is only a prototype and I can use the device only here at the CIA. When I go out I always use my white cane to get around." Then both left the building. Pamela got into her taxi and Auggie used his regular car service that took him to Langley and back on a daily basis. He thought that there were not enough blind people in public positions. With the right assistance people with a visual handicap could do a good job just like him. He would do everything to help people who shared his destiny.


	19. Chapter 19

My Auggie story 19

After a week Pamela Johnson managed her office job perfectly and that was also one of Auggie´s merits. She was an excellent addition for the department and not only because the CIA had now reached the quota of disabled people they had to employ, but mainly because of her friendly personality.

Monday morning at 07:40 Auggie was just getting ready for work. He felt for the Braille labels on his shirts and opted for a white shirt with light-blue stripes. He also took a pair of dark-blue jeans and a dark-blue blazer from his closet. He could easily distinguish clothes without label by using his colour detector. Completely dressed, he walked to the kitchen to have a cup of coffee before leaving. Arriving in the kitchen, he heard his phone ring. He slowly made his way back to the couch table in the living room where he had left his cell phone. "Mr. Bennings?" a female whiny voice asked "Mrs. White?" Auggie was not sure that he had recognized her voice. "Yes, it is me, I am in a terrible state and I dare not to go out anymore" "What happened to you?" Auggie asked although he already had an idea what was going on "My husband was detained" she whined "And my nerves are wrecked. Everything I learned from and with you is no longer important for me when I cannot leave the house anymore because I am so scared" "Do you want me to visit you" Auggie asked "Oh yes, that would be really wonderful" Gloria sobbed and took out a Kleenex to blow her nose. "I will be with you in an hour" Auggie promised, ended the call and dialed Joan´s number.

He explained the situation and said that he had to talk to Gloria urgently. Joan agreed and told him to come a bit later. She even offered him to take an entire day off if he needed it. Auggie got off the bus and walked a few hundred metres to Gloria´s house. With his cane he found the steps and the door. He rang the doorbell and waited for Gloria to open. Her voice immediately gave away that she had cried before. A bit later both had taken a seat on the couch. Gloria had prepared coffee and now she poured a big cup for Auggie and for herself. "Just like I said, my husband was detained. They say he has connections to the Mafia and to Spanish terrorists. This can only be a really bad dream. I have not slept well for 5 nights. I am a wreck. I am scared all alone in this huge house and if it is true what the police and the FBI say, I might be in danger, too. Don´t you think?" Auggie had quietly listened to Gloria and said „If you were in real danger, the police would have arranged for personal security already."

Gloria was surprised "How do you know that?" she asked. Auggie hesitated a bit but then he decided to tell the truth. Someday and somehow she would learn the truth anyway. And it would be better if she heard it from him. Joan had given him the permission to read her in. "Well…I know that all of this will be a bit too much for you Gloria, but I have to tell you something" Auggie began. Gloria was now curious and said "What is it that you want to tell me?" And Auggie continued "As you know, I am blind as well but what you don´t know, is that I am not a teacher or mobility instructor for the blind. I am good at explaining things to other people but I actually work in a completely different institution. Before my accident, and before I lost my sight, I worked for the CIA and I still do. Although I cannot go on a mission anymore I have kept my job. I am in charge of research and I deal with technology. Sometimes, just like in your case, I am asked to help but this does not happen so often." Gloria was appalled and surprised. She had listened to Auggie with an open mouth and now she stammered "that…that….that….means…..you.. you….were spying on me and my husband?" "Yes, that´s it" Auggie replied. "I HAVE TRUSTED YOU, I thought you wanted to help me, but instead you used me to harm my husband!" Gloria was shocked, furious and sad. She turned her back on Auggie. „I can perfectly understand that you are disappointed." Auggie said „But believe me, if it had not been me, it would have been somebody else.

And indeed, your husband is involved in illegal transactions. Do you recall the burglary 4 weeks ago? The „_nice colleagues_" from Spain did that. They and your husband deal with illegal weapons. You are lucky that you were not at home and that nothing happened to you. Given your visual disability you are an easy target for criminals of that type. I know that sounds cruel to you, but you should be glad that your husband was detained. That minimizes the risk for another burglary. Because these criminal circles will have received that news already and they won´t run any risk to be detained as well." Gloria had listened to Auggie and now she asked " Is that really true? I took that for a bad joke, in order to destroy our good reputation." "I am sorry to say that, but it is true and if you try to be honest, you will have to admit, that I really helped you. Didn´t I? Or did you forget all the things I taught you?" Now Gloria was in the mood to reconcile and said "Well, I have to admit that you really helped me a lot. I guess otherwise, I would still sit in an armchair unable to prepare some coffee on my own and unable to take the bus to the doctor or to the grocery store. I just felt deceived and disappointed because I appreciate you so much.

But after you have explained everything to me so well, I think it might be better this way. Who knows what would have happened next. During all these years of marriage and despite being sighted, I had been blind for the business of my husband." And then Auggie also confessed that Annie was not blind in real life and that they were not a married couple. Gloria took this news without being shocked and after an hour Auggie took the bus back to Langley. When he arrived there, he went straight away to Joan´s office and reported the conversation with Gloria White. The mission was concluded and Auggie could take care of his Tech Ops department again. Barber had left Auggie´s desk a few days ago. And he had kept his promise not to change anything. The short lesson with a blindfold and Auggie´s cane had proved to be effective and had left a long lasting impression on Barber.

After this mission as a blind girl, even Annie was impressed. Now she had a different picture of Auggie an of his life as a blind guy. Her appreciation for Auggie had turned into love but she was afraid to open up to him about that. On one hand, she knew that Auggie loved to be independent and on the other hand she did not want to be rejected just in case he did not feel the same way about her. And the third reason was, that she was not sure if she was able to live with a blind man. She was not sure that she could offer him a neat and well organized environment. Annie herself tended to be a bit chaotic. But maybe this problem would be solved soon. At least she hoped that it would.


	20. Chapter 20

My Auggie story 20

Auggie came home after a long day in Langley and the scent of lemon and lime greeted him. Erin had left a short time ago. Twice a week Auggie employed a house-keeper. He was neat and well organized, but when it came to cleaning, he "overlooked" many things. So twice a week Erin, a student, took care of various tasks. She cleaned the windows, checked the fridge, cleaned the bathroom or even ironed a few shirts for him.

Auggie folded his cane and put it on the dresser next to the door. The roses bouquet he had bought had to stay in the kitchen sink for a while until he had found a vase. In the storage room next to the kitchen he found a vase, filled it with water and put the bouquet onto the couch table. Then he made his way to the bathroom. He showered and took some of the Eau de Cologne his mother had just bought for his birthday. He carefully chose his clothes. His closet included mainly clothes in grey, black and dark-blue. Sometimes he combined them with a white shirt. Since he had lost his sight, he had bought clothes in these colours only. It minimized the risk to be dressed like a clown since he could not see what he was wearing. However, he was always dressed tastefully. For today, he had chosen something special and he was sure that the impact would be just great. At the shopping centre he had bought a red shirt with a striped tie. He combined it with black jeans and an elegant leather belt.

Completely dressed, Auggie called the delivery service and ordered Italian specialties for two. Bruschetta and Salad as an appetizer, Saltimbocca for the first course and for the dessert Tirami Su. He also ordered a bottle of excellent Chianti wine. Three steps to the right and he reached the cupboard. In his own apartment it was not always obvious that he could not see. He got two plates, two wine glasses and took some napkins and cutlery from the drawer. He carefully set the table and added some candles. He loved a stylish ambience even if he could not see that anymore.

He remembered a story with his brother. Shortly after his rehab he had moved into his own apartment and his brother had visited him to introduce him to his new girl friend. Obviously, Eric had forgotten some important details when he told his girl friend about his brother. Auggie offered something to drink and they chatted about this and that and finally Samantha asked Auggie to take a photo of her and Eric. Eric was speechless and just wanted to make a comment when Auggie said "I am sorry Samantha but I am a lousy photographer since I can only rely on acoustic cues." Samantha blushed, when she realized that Auggie could not see and all of a sudden it was quiet in the room. Auggie turned into the direction of his brother and asked" Eric, is it possible that you have omitted an important detail when you told your girl friend about a visit to my place?" Eric nodded but remembered that Auggie would not get that cue and replied "Could be, that I forgot to tell her that you are blind."

"Hmmm….did you only forget that or did you more precisely avoid to talk about it?" Auggie wanted to know "Well….maybe… I did not really forget about it….." Eric said " I do not want to offend anyone, but I thought if I told Sam that you cannot see, she would probably not come with me." Samantha was annoyed now "That is absolutely nonsense!" she said "Why should I not go with you?" Auggie, who knew his brother well now explained „Samantha, you have to know that my brother has still some problems to admit that someone in his family is disabled. He is embarrassed because I am blind. But normally, I should be the one to feel embarrassed because I have to walk around with a white cane. But I do not feel ashamed. Of course, it was hard to adapt to a life in total darkness, but I am not embarrassed because I have a handicap. Something like that can happen to anyone."They spent a nice evening together and Eric swore that he would never deny again the fact that his brother was disabled.

Auggie was still lost in thought, when the doorbell rang. He opened and Annie stood right in front of him. She wore a black mini-dress, a golden necklace and black high-heels. She had put up her blond hair in a bun and she looked very feminine and elegant. Auggie let her in and both sat down on Auggie´s black leather couch. Immediately Annie spotted the huge roses bouquet in a vase and glanced over to the perfectly arranged table. She had been at Auggie´s place a couple of times before, but this time everything was different but why? And when she took a closer look at Auggie, she stated that the elegant red shirt and the striped tie were an interesting contrast to his usual style. Red suited him and matched perfectly his dark hair.

When they had both taken a seat on the couch, Auggie felt for Annie´s hand and tried to meet her gaze by turning into her direction. Then he said "Annie Walker, you are the most important person in my life. I cannot imagine a life without you anymore. We are a great team at work and maybe we could be a perfect team in our private life as well. Annie would you like to be with me? Even if I cannot share with you everything that is visual?" Annie had listened to him and was surprised. Then she squeezed Auggie´s hand before she threw her arms around him and kissed him. "August Anderson, why should I not want to be with you? You are also an important person in my life and I also cannot imagine a life without you. And when it comes to visual things, I have to tell you, that I do not mind that you are blind because you are a special person in many ways. I cannot imagine a better partner for me than you" and then she added " I have to say that red really suits you." Auggie was relieved and laughed. The kiss that followed was interrupted by the doorbell and a voice that called "Delivery service!" Annie went to open the door, took the food and returned.

A bit later, they sat at the table and enjoyed the Italian food Auggie had ordered. After finishing the bottle of red wine, they both were drawn to Auggie´s bedroom where they spent a night full of passion. Annie had been right, Auggie´s lack of sight was perfectly compensated by tender intuition and a sensitivity, other men did not have. That was what she loved about him so much.


End file.
